I have vaginismus and, according to your wonderful clinic, I am at a stage 1 out of 5. I think that is in part to my determination to get rid of the "disease," if I can even call it that.
I came to the clinic 3 weeks before my wedding because I was determined to have sex on my wedding night. I lived with the burning my whole life, never wore tampons, and was completely shut down when it came time for anything sexual near my vagina. I was SO afraid- it was not normal to me. I didn't hear of any of my friends having this problem so I thought it was only me.
Honestly, it is so normal to feel pure pain, that your body shuts down and you can't imagine having anything in your vagina.
I saw my gynecologist and I freaked out when she told me, very rudely, that I probably have vaginismus. She did not explain what it was, but just yelled at me and told me that I was making up the pain in my head. During the exam it felt like a burning fire stick any time she tried to insert even a q-tip it - was HORRIBLE.
I went online with my mother and she found your clinic. Thankfully and tearfully I called and spoke to the receptionist and already began to feel better. The receptionist, and doctors, and every single person at your clinic were kind and compassionate and fully understanding people- I knew it was exactly where I needed to be.
After my first appointment I was supposed to use the dilators, which would help me stretch gradually so I could get used to having something inside me. I remember crying in the bathroom out of fear. I did NOT want to do it.
The first week I cried at home and couldn't get the smallest size in. I called the clinic, and the doctor saw me within 30 minutes. She made it her PRIORITY that I was okay. Where else would doctors do this? I think nowhere.
My doctor Melissa helped ease me into the dilation and was 100% understanding. I trusted her and still do. It burned a little but it was not a scary burning like at the gynecologist.
I left having inserted the dilator and a smile on my face. I felt comfortable to call the doctor and admit I was having trouble because I knew they would help me.
Each week the dilators got larger and larger, yet I was okay with it. I looked at the largest size I was up to- the size of a large male penis - and compared it to where I began- a small teeny tampon, and I couldn’t believe it.
Eventually, I adjusted, took my time and after I successfully completed the dilation, I was on cloud nine, glowing, I was elated.
Successfully, I had sex on my wedding night and cried out of shock for the next hour; and successfully had sex the next 5 nights. I have been married for a week now and have never been happier.
If it wasn't for this clinic, I do not think that I would have wanted to even get married for the fear of having intercourse. So thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, and my husband’s very happy heart!
I can't BELIEVE I am where I am and it is only a short 4 weeks later. I am so proud of myself and I am so thankful for the doctors at the clinic. There are days when it is difficult for me to dilate. But instead of being upset, I take a minute to relax my body and try again. I know I can do it.
For other women who suffer from this, I would say, you can do it too, with help. There is room inside for sex without burning, for a baby to come out one day, g-d willing, and you can do it.
Please know that there is hope and this clinic is there for hope. I just give you the blessing of trusting these doctors and taking the step to call them. The clinic was truly a miracle for me and I only can imagine what they can do for you.
-- R --
22 Years Old