Stories about Low Desire
Diana's newly found desire for sex improves her marriage
"Diana" is a 46-year-old stay-at-home mother of three children, including a teenager and a preschooler.
For many years she had been suffering from what she described as "just a total lack of desire" for her husband. Read about low desire conditions and treatments
"I love my husband, he's a great guy," Diana says. "I just didn't want anything to do with it," she says, referring to sex. "It honestly got to the point where it just felt like rape."
Diana comes from a Catholic family and describes herself as "very prim and proper." "I've never been a real sexual person to begin with," she says, "I'm kind of prudish."
On the other hand, she's never had a problem having orgasms, she says. It's been ‘getting into' sex that has been a challenge. "I just didn't want to do it. I wanted to get it over and done with."
Diana's husband, "Victor," tried to understand, she says, but felt that she wasn't attracted to him anymore. They negotiated that they would "do it" once a week, she says, and she complied without enthusiasm.
After many years with sex as a barrier between them, Diana went to talk to her general practitioner. In the waiting room, she picked up a brochure for MCFS. Diana went to her gynecologist to discuss the issue, who also recommended The Women's Center, so Diana made an appointment.
"I feared that it was the end of my marriage," Diana says. "I didn't know there was anything you could do about it."
At her first visit, Diana met with the MCFS clinical and medical staff and they took a full sexual history, starting with her first sexual encounter all the way through her current challenges. "I talked to them about my family, about my husband, and about what's been going on," Diana says.
At the same visit, Diana had a physical exam and had blood drawn for several tests.
When she returned for a follow-up three weeks later, Diana learned that she had a low testosterone level. She was prescribed testosterone gel, which she applies each evening to the inside of her leg, and the dose of the antidepressant she was already taking was increased.
The change in her libido was quickly discernable, Diana says.
"It's been very different. I didn't think this would do anything," Diana says, and "I was amazed that this could have such a difference. I don't think women understand or know that."
Now, she confesses that "I'm not swinging from the chandeliers or anything, but it just makes our interactions better. I don't feel like it's a chore anymore."
Having sex with Victor "once or twice a week is easy for me now. Before getting treatment, I'd cringe every time my husband touched me. Now I'm enjoying it more and don't have that stress at all," she says.
And Victor, she says, "doesn't have resentment built up anymore. Now he feels like I'm making an effort to make things work. It's amazing to think that just that little stuff I'm doing makes such a difference."
Now Diana even initiates sex with her husband, "which I never did before." On a recent vacation, they made love "three or four times in four days!" For just about the first time, "I felt like it," Diana says.
Having a good sex life with your partner "makes such a difference in life, and I don't think other women realize it," Diana says. "This isn't just me having this issue. This is real cutting-edge stuff at this point. Ten years from now it will be a lot more advertised and widely used. It's made such a difference in our life. A lot of women don't know there is help out there."
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