I went into menopause abruptly at age 46 - my period disappeared and never returned. Even though I had once had a robust sex life, gradually I felt sexually numb, dry and neutered. When I remarried at age 50 my new husband was patient and loving. He would gingerly initiate sex hoping I would show some interest but I just couldn't fake it anymore. It was upsetting but it seemed we would just have to accept it. Then one day I read an article about the Center for Female Sexuality in the New York Times that featured Bat Sheva Marcus. I felt, at last, maybe there is something I can do. With some hesitation, I made an appointment. My husband was skeptical but I just wasn't ready to give up sex without a fight.
From the first visit Bat Sheva and Melissa at the Center were so helpful. First, they did some tests, and sure enough my hormones were practically undetectable. They took a thorough sexual history, with no judgement and listened to my questions and allayed my anxieties about whether or not I would ever feel sexual again. Through trial and error we tried various combinations of hormones, estradiol, progesterone and testosterone and although we thought the problem would be solved in a few months, it took over a year. But they never gave up, and neither did I. This fall, 18 months after starting the hormone therapy I had sex with my husband 7 times in one weekend - all on my own initiative - and it was wonderful. I am 53 now and while I didn't feel thirty again, but I sure felt like I was forty! My husband, who was resigned to a bland sex life, is thrilled and I feel like myself again. I learned that it takes time for your brain and body to kick in, but the many months of therapy were worth it.
I encourage other women to visit the Center if they are feeling dry, menopausal, and uninterested in sex. Some of my friends scoffed at me - they still do. Who needs sex at our age? You should age naturally! Just let it go! Well I care about sex and so do Batsheva and Melissa. And they will persist and experiment until you feel better. I always had faith this treatment would work and I am glad I stuck with it. Don't listen to your friends, or even your husband. Listen to your own body!
53 Years Old
Read Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus' article on menopause and sex.