At the Center, we often explore a patient’s sexual difficulties from
a physiological standpoint. At the same time we use the psychosexual intake
interview as a foundation for examining what else may be going on in a
woman’s relationship and sex life.
Sometimes, we observe emotional obstacles to sexual satisfaction that
are embedded in the relationship itself, or are part of the emotional
state of the patient. We will often suggest that patients see a sex therapist
during or after completion of the physical treatment.
Reasons to Seek out a Sex Therapist
Here are some examples of expressions we’ve heard from patients who see
us for sexual issues:
- "I feel disinterested in so many aspects of my life. Sex is just one."
- "He is a terrible lover. He always jumps right to intercourse."
- "I am so angry at him. All he ever wants is sex."
- "I feel turned on by other men but not by my husband."
Finding a Good Sex Therapist
A really good sex therapist will be both an excellent couples’ counselor
as well as someone with experience dealing with sexual issues. Here are
some questions you may want to consider when talking to a potential therapist.
What population do you focus on in your current practice?
- If a therapist says they see “everyone,” children, adults, families
and couples, you may want to be wary. Good couple’s counselors usually
do just that and one other area.
How long have you been seeing couples?
- Experience counts here. Someone who has a long-time flourishing practice
is probably a better bet than a brand new sex therapist.
What do you consider “normal” sexually?
- It’s important to have a therapist who is “sex positive.” That is,
you want a therapist who thinks a wide range of sexual activity is normal
and healthy. You do not want a therapist who has their very rigid and
fixed idea of how often and how a couple should be having sex.
What are your feelings regarding the physical (medical) components
of the problem?
- True we’re biased here, but any sex therapist that isn’t open to the
idea that there may be a physical component isn’t keeping up with the
current literature and isn’t being responsible.
What are some of your approaches?
- Often the best therapists are not ones that use “one magic solution,”
but will incorporate a number of modalities. Be wary if a therapist
says: “I only use the ____ method of therapy.”
What is your accreditation?
- The largest accrediting body for sex therapy is AASECT: The American
Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Their website
has a tremendous amount of information on what different types of accreditation are available and lists of local sex therapists.
Do you and your partner like the therapist?
- Here’s the bottom line. Both you and your partner have to feel you
can be open and comfortable with the therapist. You have to find someone
you feels understands your situation and will guide you responsibly
towards a real solution.
You can search for qualified sex therapists in your area by visiting
the AASECT website: http://www.aasect.org/
Learn more about sex therapy for female sexual
Free women’s sexuality information
Contact us for more information about sex
therapy center or call us to make an appointment at (914) 328-3700.