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Sex Therapist for Sex Problems

How to Choose a Sex Therapist

At the Center, we often explore a patient’s sexual difficulties from a physiological standpoint. At the same time we use the psychosexual intake interview as a foundation for examining what else may be going on in a woman’s relationship and sex life.

Sometimes, we observe emotional obstacles to sexual satisfaction that are embedded in the relationship itself, or are part of the emotional state of the patient. We will often suggest that patients see a sex therapist during or after completion of the physical treatment.

Reasons to Seek out a Sex Therapist

Here are some examples of expressions we’ve heard from patients who see us for sexual issues:

  • "I feel disinterested in so many aspects of my life. Sex is just one."
  • "He is a terrible lover. He always jumps right to intercourse."
  • "I am so angry at him. All he ever wants is sex."
  • "I feel turned on by other men but not by my husband."

Finding a Good Sex Therapist

A really good sex therapist will be both an excellent couples’ counselor as well as someone with experience dealing with sexual issues. Here are some questions you may want to consider when talking to a potential therapist.

What population do you focus on in your current practice?

  • If a therapist says they see “everyone,” children, adults, families and couples, you may want to be wary. Good couple’s counselors usually do just that and one other area.

How long have you been seeing couples?

  • Experience counts here. Someone who has a long-time flourishing practice is probably a better bet than a brand new sex therapist.

What do you consider “normal” sexually?

  • It’s important to have a therapist who is “sex positive.” That is, you want a therapist who thinks a wide range of sexual activity is normal and healthy. You do not want a therapist who has their very rigid and fixed idea of how often and how a couple should be having sex.

What are your feelings regarding the physical (medical) components of the problem?

  • True we’re biased here, but any sex therapist that isn’t open to the idea that there may be a physical component isn’t keeping up with the current literature and isn’t being responsible.

What are some of your approaches?

  • Often the best therapists are not ones that use “one magic solution,” but will incorporate a number of modalities. Be wary if a therapist says: “I only use the ____ method of therapy.”

What is your accreditation?

  • The largest accrediting body for sex therapy is AASECT: The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Their website has a tremendous amount of information on what different types of accreditation are available and lists of local sex therapists.

Do you and your partner like the therapist?

  • Here’s the bottom line. Both you and your partner have to feel you can be open and comfortable with the therapist. You have to find someone you feels understands your situation and will guide you responsibly towards a real solution.

You can search for qualified sex therapists in your area by visiting the AASECT website: http://www.aasect.org/


Learn more about sex therapy for female sexual dysfunction.

Free women’s sexuality information packet.

Contact us for more information about sex therapy center or call us to make an appointment at (914) 328-3700.

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Information provided on this website is authored and edited by Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW, MPH, PhD
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