Sex After Childbirth

Many women find that their sexual desire drops dramatically after the birth of a child. This may happen after the first or even second child. There are many factors that impact the quality of a woman’s sex life after the birth of a child.

It is generally thought that a woman should wait six weeks or until she has had her postnatal check up before having intercourse. Some women lack the desire to have sex for months or possibly years after giving birth. Still, sexual health is still a topic many women hesitate to discuss with their doctors.

Only 15% of women who had a postnatal sexual problem reported discussing it with a health professional.*

If you find that:

• You have no interest in sex
• Sex is painful
• You feel depressed, exhausted or overwhelmed

There are many treatment options both physiological and psychological that can get you back on track to a healthy sex life after childbirth.

Causes of Low Desire for Sex After Childbirth

Hormonal Shifts

Changing hormone levels following pregnancy can result in low desire. At the Center we can look into your hormone levels and explore a wide range of options to get your body functioning optimally.

The entire ride of pregnancy through delivery and breastfeeding creates many intense hormonal shifts. It may take some time and some assistance from medications to get your hormones balanced again.

Fatigue

After having a baby, you may be physically and emotionally exhausted. Having a child puts new demands on you, it is understandable that you would be tired.

You may feel as though sex is the last thing you want. Having a new born or a child of any age creates new situations that you must cope with.

Physical Changes

The physical changes to your body from the pregnancy, delivery and breast feeding may greatly impact your desire and your ability to have sex. It is quite a feat to deliver a baby. You may tear or have an episiotomy. There may be pain or discomfort during sex due to the delivery.

Sex is a dynamic and fluid aspect of any relationship. It is changing all the time. Your sexual desire after having a baby may wax and wane. It may feel as though it is gone entirely. And things that turned you on before may not work at all for you now.

Self-Image

It is an enormous change to re-define yourself as a mother and parent after having seen yourself in other roles. The roles of wife, daughter, friend and career woman are all roles you may have felt more prepared or equipped for than your newest role as mother.

Be gentle with yourself. It takes some time to adjust. There is a lot of mythology around the idea that one steps into this new role with simplicity and ease. That is not always the case.

Relationship Issues

Nothing re-defines a relationship like the birth of a child. A partner you may have known for years may prove to be surprising or disappointing in his or her new role as parent. It is easy with all this newness and depletion to feel more estranged from your partner.

Stress

Stress affects desire. Stress is an inevitable part of life but the way we each deal with it is unique.

Post Partum Depression

Post partum depression affects 10 percent of women in the United States. This may also be affecting your desire to be sexual.
Click here to learn more about post partum depression.

Treating Issues Regarding Sex After Childbirth

The goal of any treatment is to clarify exactly which components are at play. Generally it is a combination of things. There can be many factors affecting your sexuality after child birth therefore both the assessment and the treatment takes into account a wide range of physiologic and psychological factors.

More about low desire for sex after childbirth.

Free women’s sexuality information packet.

Contact us for more information about sex after childbirth, or call us to make an appointment at (914) 328-3700.

*Barrett, G. Pendry, E., Peacock, J., Victor, C., Thakar, R., Manyonda, I., (2002)”Women’s Sexual Health After Chilbirth” , BJOG: International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Vol. 107, issue, 2., 186-195.