I struggled with painful intercourse from the day I became sexually active. Since sex had never felt any different, I assumed that was how intercourse was supposed to feel.
I enjoyed every other part of my sex life, had no problem obtaining orgasm, as long as it did not involve penetration I was fine. Because every woman I knew loved sexual intercourse, I figured my issue must be psychological.
After all, if there was something wrong with my body, I figured, wouldn't my gynecologist have said something to me? I went to therapy but it did not fix how intercourse felt. It took me 20 years to mention my issue to two gynecologists, due to my shame, but they couldn't give me any answers. They suggested trying different positions (as if I hadn't!). One mentioned the importance of relaxing, which only furthered my shame that I must have had some psychological issue.
After I gave birth to my first child, I had complications that required me to get stitches twice, and intercourse became not just painful but unbearable. At that point, I felt I had no choice but to seek help because it was impacting my marriage.
Our marriage therapist mentioned to me that vaginismus is a physical reflex (not psychological) condition and that it is truly involuntary. That made me feel more comfortable seeking help. By chance, I saw a newspaper article featuring Dr. Marcus from the Medical Center for Female Sexuality. As I searched on the internet, they were the only agency in the area that addressed my issue.
I read the testimonials on their website and I really connected to the women who wrote about them. It still took me three weeks to call. I was afraid I would cry as soon as they answered the phone and I didn't want to feel embarrassed. When I mustered up enough courage, I made an appointment. Finally, I was where I belonged.
Although it was difficult to share my story with them, I knew I needed to address my issue. The women I spoke with helped me to feel heard. The dilators I was given were the best part of my treatment. I started with the small and progressed to the large until my body became accustomed to allowing a full sized penis to enter me without any pain.
The process was so much easier than I had imagined! When my blood was tested at the clinic, it was also discovered that my DHEA and my testosterone level was way below the normal range which explained why my sexual desire was not strong.
In addition to taking a natural supplement to help increase my DHEA and testosterone, it was recommended that I take an anti-depressant temporarily. I was most resistant to taking the anti-depressant because I have never taken medication for anything. But, in my heart, I knew I was not happy. After a few weeks, I agreed to try an anti-depressant that would not negatively impact sexual desire or weight gain (because some of them do). This also helped tremendously. It was as if a big dark cloud had lifted from over my head and the sun had finally come out. Now, I was both enjoying intercourse and life!
I want to thank the Medical Center for Female Sexuality for helping me to feel like a normal woman.
-- Identity Withheld --
Women share their experiences with sexual dysfunction, their search for answers, the challenges encountered along the way, and how they found solutions to a better sex life.