I came to the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in a state of desperation. I had spent the past seven years unable to have intercourse with my husband because it was too painful. All along, I thought it was something I'd "get used to," but it became clear that that was not going to happen. I had no idea where to turn and I was afraid that this would be a lifetime sentence... for me and my wonderful husband.
I consulted my gynecologist, who was sympathetic but had no suggestions as to how this problem may be treated. I also consulted my endocrinologist with the same result. All the while, intimacy with my husband was strained because of my feelings of anxiety and guilt. If not for his patience and understanding, I don't think our new marriage (we are a couple in our 20s) would have endured.
It was a few years, after realizing that I needed some kind of medical help, before I figured out where to turn for it. Through research online I came upon the website for MCFS and I called immediately. I can still remember the excitement I felt after describing my problem, when the receptionist said "Yes, you've called the right place." I was cautiously optimistic... but this was much closer than I'd come to a solution than ever before.
Shortly thereafter, I met with Dr. Marcus. She put me at ease right away with her "You-can-call-me-Bat Sheva" familiarity. Her ease at talking about sex made me laugh to myself and probably blush in her presence, but also it made me feel completely uninhibited, knowing she was not judging me. She was very honest, and made no promises about a quick and easy treatment, which made me trust her that much more. As a woman in my 20s having these kinds of problems with sex, which none of my friends had ever experienced nor have my doctors known much about, I felt anxious and for lack of a better term "like a freak of nature." Bat Sheva made me feel like discussing my inner-most problems was "coffee talk" because she was so approachable, yet at the same time she always maintained a professional demeanor.
One could say that Bat Sheva Marcus led me to the yellow brick road and at the end was a healthy sex life. My treatment consisted of 6 weeks of daily exercises that were a little uncomfortable at worst... but I felt a steady progression, which was very encouraging. Bat Sheva and her team monitored my progress and were available for questions. And now that horribly painful intercourse, a condition that nobody would validate or acknowledge, much less treat, is a thing of my past.
It is so important for women to know that they do not need to suffer and "just deal with" intercourse that is painful... and that just because the problem is not common, doesn't make it insignificant.
I came to the Women’s Center after a couple of frustrating months of being a newlywed and not able to consummate my marriage. I had a feeling that before I got married that I would have trouble with consummating my marriage because visits to the gynecologist had been very painful.
With the support of my husband I called the Women’s Center and made an appointment. The atmosphere was warm and friendly yet professional. After a quick physical examination it was determined that I had vaginisimus. The treatment was inserting dilators in order to expand the vagina and make it easier for me to get used to have something inside of me. Every week I used a bigger dilator until I had gotten to the largest one. I think there were about 7 or 8. At the beginning the treatment was very painful... As the weeks went on I became more comfortable with the dilators and it progressed from pain to mild discomfort.
While I wouldn’t say the treatment was easy, it was definitely worthwhile and effective. The support and encouragement I received along the way from everyone made it possible to complete the program successfully. I am now able to enjoy sex with my husband without any pain. I urge anyone with a sexual problem to get help at the Women’s Center. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself and my marriage.
28 Years Old
Women share their experiences with sexual dysfunction, their search for answers, the challenges encountered along the way, and how they found solutions to a better sex life.