Vibrators have taken a bad rap. Although perhaps the most useful tool in a sexual arsenal, vibrators have been relegated to the sidelines. Is it because sometimes women think of them as "kinky?" Is it because women are afraid that the use of a vibrator will make their partners feel inadequate? Is it because women feel like there is something wrong with them if they use a vibrator? Is it because they are afraid they will become dependant on a vibrator?
The reality is that vibrators are not "kinky," (whatever kinky is... frankly I haven't heard a great definition for it, mostly it seems to be a word used for something you haven't really tried yet) and there is nothing "wrong" with a woman who uses one. Vibrators aren't just for masturbation; they are often used in partner sex as well, either before intercourse, after intercourse or instead of intercourse.
The bottom line is that a vibrator, either electric or battery operated, internal or external (and we'll get into the different types and how to choose them in another article,) can give a longer, stronger level of stimulation than a hand, a mouth or a penis can. As a result they make having orgasms so much easier and in many cases more intense. They also may make it possible for many women to have more than one orgasm.
For some women a vibrator is just necessary. As they get older it becomes harder to have an orgasm and the vibrator makes it easier (or possible.) Because having an orgasm is so much easier for them, many women in this situation talk about how "it takes the stress out." Some of them describe a situation where during sex they had been so focused on "getting to the orgasm" and "what happens if I don't have one?" that it had taken the fun out of sex and the vibrator let them relax and enjoy themselves.
For some woman a vibrator is not necessary, it's just easier and faster and for whatever reason easier and faster may be important at this time in their life. (Ever try having sex after you put your 2 year old to bed and before your newborn wakes up for a feeding? Trust me, it gives new meaning to the term "quicky") Finally for some women a vibrator is just plain fun.
So if you think you fall into any one of these categories, go back and dust off your old vibrator. Or go find yourself a new one, and have fun!!
At the recent OB/GYN annual meeting in Halifax, Canada, Dr Nathalie Gamache, as assistant professor in the faculty of medicine at the University of Ottawa and a women's health specialist, announced that the descrepancy between women's interest in sex and their actual sexual activity is abnormal, and the problem - and its solutions - may be found in biology.
Major neurotransmitters are involved in sexual desire and response in women. While estrogen and progesterone trigger the release of these neurotransmitters, testosterone spurs desire in both men and women. Does anyone remember feeling particularly romantic in the middle of the month? You guessed it: testosterone levels peak in women just before ovulation. So, the conclusion is that we may be "underestimating the power of testosterone in women."
Cardiovascular disease and diabetes both effect the production of the big T, and when men present with these conditions they are routinely tested for - and often treated with - testosterone. Men who see doctors because of erectile dysfunction are often referred to a cardiologist and endocronologist . Can you imagine being sent to check out your heart or your hormone levels if you told your GP or GYN that you aren't ever "in the mood?"
Dr Gamache's argument is that women and men should receive the same consultations when they complain of sexual dysfunction to make sure everything else that correlates medically is in good working order.
This article continues to describe women's reluctance to seek help for sexual dysfunction ("It takes an average of 5-7 ears before a woman will actually admit to her gp that she is having urinary problems. I challenge you - how long will it take her to admit she is having problems of a secual nature?") and Dr. Gamache's strong view that testosterone should be approved for use in women.
Basically, we love Dr. Gamache.
Now if we could just convince gynecologists around the country to seek out training from the experts in the field (that would be us, of course), more women could explore the physical reasons for low desire and get on with the business of having sex!
Here's the full article: Women and Testosterone - Medical Post
|In This Issue|
|Canadian Docs push for better understanding of FSD
November Book Recommendation:
|Quote of the Month|
| From the famous author "Anonymous:
"I love sex. It's free and doesn't require special shoes."
"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."
"I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading."
|Why Women See Us|
|"I feared that it was the end of my marriage. I didn't know there was anything you could do about it."
"After my second child, I never got my libido back"
"I was never able to use tampons. What was wrong with me that I couldn't do the same things everyone else could?"
~ M, 29
|"It wasn't my marriage or my husband. I wasn't crazy, it was physical. What a relief! " ~L
"My mood and desire are enhanced. I am more optimistic and positive, and the best news is that my husband and I are having sex again."
"The entire treatment experience went smoothly and I never felt pressured to do anything I was uncomfortable doing. "
~ M, 29
"Going to the MCFS was one of the most important "gifts" I ever gave myself."
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