You know you used to be into sex. Yes, that was you, not someone else. You remember thinking at one time, "Wow, this is great!" But it just doesn't seem to be happening that way anymore. Okay, you think, "So I had a baby (you fill in the blank: 6 months, year, 2 years, 4 years) ago. Shouldn't my desire for sex have come back? What's happening to me?" Indeed, what really is going on here?
Many women find that their libido (their desire to have sex) drops dramatically after the birth of a child. This may not happen after the first, or even the second child. Some find it drops after number 3 or more. Some have the problem after each of them. They are tired and stressed. They don't have enough time to take a shower, let alone have a sexual rendezvous with their partner.
Traditionally women have been told that it is all in their head and there may be some truth to these temporary lifestyle matters. Many powerful psychological factors may be at work when you have a child, but, your body also goes through significant physiological changes, and these can be contributing factors to the 'do not enter' sign on your door.
So here is a fairly broad list of factors that can be at play. You need to ask yourself which ones apply to you and what are the tasks you can do to actually resolve some of this; and then get to work! A good sex life with your partner will make the difficult child rearing years so much easier for you as a couple.
Most likely your low desire is a combination of a few of the issues listed above and perhaps some more we haven't even thought of yet. Feel free to e mail us, if you want to add to the list. However, most low libido issues can be resolved if enough of the factors are addressed. We've seen some of the toughest cases turn around. So can you.
The Alchemy of Love and Lust: How our sex hormones influence our relationships, Theresa L. Crenshaw, MD
This book is a bit odd, but a very interesting read. It reviews the hormonal influences in our sexual behavior through the age-stages of our lives, and interestingly, informs us about men and women, and the impact hormones have on us.
The book was written in 1996, so perhaps the information is a little outdated (the section on testosterone replacement only talks about shots, not the topical gels used today) and even some of the gender references seem last millenium. But it's hard to find a book with this much medical detail interspersed with case studies, well, about sex! You'll learn something about hormones and, maybe, gain more understanding about your own relationship.
The Medical Center for Female Sexuality (MCFS) is one of the only treatment centers of its kind in the country. Using unique treatment programs, the MCFS has helped hundreds of women attain the wonderful feeling about themselves and their partners that comes with having a great sex life.
If you'd like to write an anonymous testimonial reflecting your experience at the Center, please feel free to send it to email@example.com
Help women like you have the courage to help themselves!
|Quote of the Month|
|"I'd like to meet the
person who invented sex and see what he's working on now"
|Why Women See Us|
|"When I look back at my sex
life 5 months ago, it makes my head spin. Frankly, I really didn't care
about having sex... at all or ever again. ....
Now it's five months later... and I learned not only that there was an explanation for my lack of desire, but that there were things we could do about it! "
"Going to the MCFS was one of the most important "gifts" I ever gave myself."
|"I hated the way I was acting and I missed enjoying my sex life, but I just didn't know what to do. When my OB suggested I go to the Medical Center I was a little bit intimidated. Talking about my sex life was not my favorite thing. "
"Until I came to the Center I never would have believed that there was a medical solution to my problems. Throughout the entire process I felt like Melissa and Bat Sheva were my friends as well as my doctors. They have saved me and saved my marriage."
~ K, 45
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