Monthly Newsletter

I'm always amused by the search for the female Viagra. Mostly because I'm not sure what the speaker means when he says a "female Viagra" and I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what he means either! Like the search for the Holy Grail, this mission is daunting.

If you mean you are searching for something that will bring a woman's blood into her clitoral and vaginal area in the same way that Viagra does for men, you need look no further. Viagra, good old Viagra (the very same blue pill that the guys take) will do the same thing for women. Ta-da! You found the female Viagra.

However, I suspect most people mean something quite different when they use the term. I think they are looking for a pill which will make sex "better" for women. But what does that mean? It could mean any of the following:

1. I'm looking for a pill which will make a woman aroused when she's having sex.
2. I'm looking for a pill which will make a woman want to have sex.
3. I'm looking for a pill which will help a woman have a better orgasm.
4. I'm looking for a pill which will make women less inhibited when they are having sex.

Here's a secret. Viagra does only one thing for men: make it possible to have a hard and strong erection by enabling blood flow to the penis. Strong blood flow to the genitals is arousal for women, too. So we've got a solution to #1!

If a guy has a low libido, or can't have an orgasm, chances are Viagra will do little to nothing for him. And the same applies to women. It's just that with men, the erection is such a critical and visible component to sex that it feels like having an erection means all obvious problems are solved.

For these men, problems with desire or orgasm will require additional medical intervention and the same goes for women.

I know it is really hard to believe, but there are plenty of women out there who get aroused easily and have great orgasms and still find their desire incredibly low.

There are also women who are dying to have sex, but their bodies just don't get aroused by normal stimuli. And there are women, who want to have sex, get turned on and can't have an orgasm. And we all know women who want sex, get turned on, have orgasms but just can't seem to feel comfortable having their partner see them naked. What a complicated group we are.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that a "one size fits all," medication is just a pipe dream and not realistic when it comes to women. (Frankly, I don't think it's so realistic when we are talking about men either - and Viagra is often seen as a panacea it is not --but that's a topic for a different newsletter.)

What I'm searching for, just in case anyone is interested... is many "Viagras;" that is, many different solutions - medical, pharmaceutical, hormonal, behavioral and psychological - which will address the varied elements of women's sexuality. Once those solutions exist, you will just need a practitioner savvy enough to know when to use each one.