I went into menopause abruptly at age 46 - my period disappeared and never returned. Even though I had once had a robust sex life, gradually I felt sexually numb, dry and neutered. When I remarried at age 50 my new husband was patient and loving. He would gingerly initiate sex hoping I would show some interest but I just couldn't fake it anymore. It was upsetting but it seemed we would just have to accept it. Then one day I read an article about the Center for Female Sexuality in the New York Times that featured Bat Sheva Marcus. I felt, at last, maybe there is something I can do. With some hesitation, I made an appointment. My husband was skeptical but I just wasn't ready to give up sex without a fight.
From the first visit Bat Sheva and Melissa at the Center were so helpful. First, they did some tests, and sure enough my hormones were practically undetectable. They took a thorough sexual history, with no judgement and listened to my questions and allayed my anxieties about whether or not I would ever feel sexual again. Through trial and error we tried various combinations of hormones, estradiol, progesterone and testosterone and although we thought the problem would be solved in a few months, it took over a year. But they never gave up, and neither did I. This fall, 18 months after starting the hormone therapy I had sex with my husband 7 times in one weekend - all on my own initiative - and it was wonderful. I am 53 now and while I didn't feel thirty again, but I sure felt like I was forty! My husband, who was resigned to a bland sex life, is thrilled and I feel like myself again. I learned that it takes time for your brain and body to kick in, but the many months of therapy were worth it.
I encourage other women to visit the Center if they are feeling dry, menopausal, and uninterested in sex. Some of my friends scoffed at me - they still do. Who needs sex at our age? You should age naturally! Just let it go! Well I care about sex and so do Batsheva and Melissa. And they will persist and experiment until you feel better. I always had faith this treatment would work and I am glad I stuck with it. Don't listen to your friends, or even your husband. Listen to your own body!
53 Years Old
Women share their experiences with sexual dysfunction, their search for answers, the challenges encountered along the way, and how they found solutions to a better sex life.