• I'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN VERY INTERESTED IN SEX. WHY IS THAT?
  
  
• SINCE HAVING CHILDREN MY INTEREST IN SEX HAS DIMINISHED. WHY IS THAT?
  
  
• AS I'VE GOTTEN OLDER MY INTEREST IN SEX SEEMS TO BE DIMINISHING. CAN YOU TELL ME WHY?

I'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN VERY INTERESTED IN SEX. WHY IS THAT?

There may be any number of reasons why you have never been interested in sex, some of those may be physiological (that is, physical) and some of those may be psychological.

The physical factors may often include hormone insufficiencies. Hormones are a critical component of normal sexual response. Low levels of testosterone related hormones, estrogens and DHEA-S (most commonly associated with post-menopausal women) can have a significant impact on a woman's level of desire. Even younger women may have levels of hormones that are too low and the result is a lack of desire.

Understanding the hormone balance is complicated and a very new area for most physicians. Therefore a woman who complains of a lack of desire should have a full battery of bloods run under the supervision of a physician who specializes in the area of female sexual dysfunction.

The medications you may be taking may also be affecting your level of desire, particularly if you are taking anti-depressants. Additionally, birth control pills can also throw off the balance of hormones and create a lack of desire or libido.

Psychological factors can be varied and complex. They may include issues that are as difficult as a history of physical or sexual abuse or simpler issues about body awareness and acceptance. They may involve a women's own feelings about her body and sex and they may involve her partners feelings about her body and sex.

Additionally we are beginning to understand that spontaneous desire for women may be more rare than we originally believed it to be and that desire may actually be the result of women accessing or “arranging” for those things that “turn them on” to be a part of their lives. A women who is interested in raising her level of desire my want to explore some ways to add these factors into her life.

SINCE HAVING CHILDREN MY INTEREST IN SEX HAS DIMINISHED. WHY IS THAT? (Back to top)

The addition of children into a couple's marriage and sex life is a complicated mix of joy and stress. Though often delighted at the birth of a child, women and couples are often not prepared for the additional stress the child put on the body and the relationship.

A complicated mix of psychological and physiological (physical) components often result in a woman who, although quite interested in sex prior to bearing children, now feels very differently. Physical factors may often include hormone insufficiencies. Pregnancy and lactation can wreak havoc with a woman’s hormone levels and they may not return to pre-pregnancy levels for a long time after the birth of a child, if ever. Hormones are a critical component of normal sexual response. Low levels of testosterone related hormones, estrogens and DHEA-S can have a significant impact on a woman's level of desire.

Also, both vaginal deliveries and c-sections can put stress on different parts of the woman’s body, damaging nerves, stretching muscles or just causing irritation. Some of these symptoms may go away after some time; others may not.

Psychological factors may include sheer exhaustion. (You can't minimize the impact that being tired can have on your libido.) You may also want to explore changing feelings towards your body, how it may look and feel differently since becoming a parent. Also, there may be changed feelings about your own sexuality now that you are a mother and you and your husband are no longer only a couple but parents as well.

Also, we are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the desire that we think of as “spontaneous” is often the direct result of women and men creating sexual situations for themselves. The enormous life change that parents experience from the birth of a child often does not allow them to make the time or space in their lives for those experiences or situations which would allow them to feel sexy.

As in most situations where a woman is unhappy with her sex life, an approach that deals with both physical and psychological factors after childbirth will be the most successful. A woman should seek out a physician who can run a full panel of blood tests, measure nerve sensation and provide a full physical exam, while also looking at the psychological implications of the issues she is dealing with in her life.

AS I'VE GOTTEN OLDER MY INTEREST IN SEX SEEMS TO BE DIMINISHING. CAN YOU TELL ME WHY? (Back to top)

It is not uncommon to hear women talk of a diminished interest in sex as they get older. For some women this is a perfectly acceptable development; for others it feels as though this is a quality of life issue that they would like to address. And it can be addressed.

The physical factors may often include hormone insufficiencies. Hormones are a critical component of normal sexual response. Low levels of testosterone related hormones DHEA-S and estrogens are often associated with peri-menopausal and post-menopausal women and can have a large impact on a woman's level of desire.

Understanding the hormone balance is complicated and a very new area for most physicians. Therefore a woman who complains of a lack of desire should have a full battery of bloods run under the supervision of a physician who specializes in the area of female sexual dysfunction.

Additionally, changes in hormone level can have significant impact on lubrication, which can adversely effect sensation and pleasure during intercourse. This can have both a direct and indirect affect on a women’s level of desire.

The medications you may be taking can also be affecting your level of desire, particularly if you are taking anti-depressants. Additionally, birth control pills can throw off the balance of hormones and create a lack of desire or libido.

On a psychological level, a woman may want to explore her feelings about her changing body and her changing life. Although menopause can be a time of freedom and exploration for a woman and her partner, it can also be a time that includes feelings of loss. These issues can all affect a women’s libido.

As in most situations where a woman is unhappy with her sex life, an approach that deals with both physical and psychological factors will be the most successful. A woman should seek out a physician who can run a full panel of blood tests, measure nerve sensation and provide a full physical exam, while also looking at the psychological implications of the issues she is dealing with in her life.