Posts Tagged ‘sexual intercourse’

Cheers!

Thursday, October 20th, 2011 by Barbara Gross, LMSW

A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine states that, “moderate consumption of alcohol (11-20 drinks a month), through psychological and social disinhibiting effects, may favor sexual activities(for women with no health issues who are between the ages of  18 and 35).”  This article basically states that though excessive drinking at any age can be dangerous, moderate drinking for certain women can in fact, help your sex life.

Of course I do not suggest heavy drinking and many factors can contribute to negative outcomes when an individual drinks alcohol particularly if there are any pre-existing health issues or a family history of substance abuse or addiction. However if none of those conditions exist it seems that consuming a moderate amount of alcohol may make women less inhibited and therefore have more sexual activity and more satisfying sexual experience. “In our study, the moderate drinkers showed a lower BDI (Beck Depression Inventory-which tests for depression, i.e. were less depressed), an increased number of sexual intercourse sessions/per week, and an increased percentage of vaginal orgasms.”

All research must be analyzed carefully, so I have to add that this is a very small study (87 participants). Because of that  it can not be generalized to the  population at large (unless more studies with randomized controls were done), but it is fun to think about the results. Maybe that glass or two of wine might actually make your sex life better!

 

“My husband Wants to have Sex Everyday” and other popular myths…

Friday, March 26th, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

To be filed under the “I wish I had a nickel every time a patient said this to me.”

Women with low libidos always think their husbands want to have sex every day. When I am doing an intake with a woman who is having sex (because she feels obligated) say, once every 3 weeks, I will ask her how often  her partner wants to have sex. Invariably she looks at me like I am the village idiot and says “My husband wants to have sex everyday…  of course.”    The subtext being that all men want to have sex every day.

 Sorry, but I must disabuse you of this notion. Most men over the age of 19 really don’t want to have sex every day. They get tired too, you know. However, men who are not having any satisfying sex, or men who feel like their partners never want to have sex, often feel as though they want to have sex every day.  It may be on their minds constantly; they may be worried about it all the time and every night they may be thinking… is this the night I’m going to get to have sex?!

Think about it. If you love chocolate fudge and you had a box of it sitting there which you couldn’t eat and you didn’t know when you’d finally be able to have a piece, you’d probably be thinking about the fudge all the time! But that doesn’t mean if the fudge was readily available whenever you wanted it, you’d eat it all day long!

 The same is true about sex. When these women’s libidos are back to normal, and they are happily having sex, they aren’t having sex every day.  Their perfectly human husbands want sex regularly, but not every day.  If you doubt this, here’s a suggestion: try initiating sex every night. It never fails, by the end of week two your partner will be looking at you funny and asking if it’d be okay to wait until tomorrow night. 

And for a woman whose libido is back in check, tomorrow is perfectly ok!