1. Start with her brain. Many women report that a sexual encounter may start way before the touching begins. Sometimes an email or a phone call or support with something she needs is the best first step towards a good sexual experience.
2. Skin. Skin is the largest organ. Touching is a great form of foreplay. Most women like to be touched many places other than their breasts and genitals, so start some place else and see what happens.
3.Slow. Slow is generally better than fast. Slow in terms of getting your partner in the mood and ready for sexual activity. I rarely hear women complain that their partners went too slow or that they were too gentle. That being said, you need to find each others speed and rhythm. Everyone is different but a slow and sensitive approach to your partner is generally a good one.
4. Mystery. Esther Perel in her book Mating in Captivity explores and explains that sometimes the unknowable or mysterious aspects of a partner are what make them or the sexual activity more exciting. She says that familiarity and comfort can sometimes breed boredom in the bedroom. I do not think that is always the case but I think a sense of mystery or surprise can make things more exciting. Think of ways to reveal less. I know you can.
5. Change- Trying changing what you usually do. It is easy for all of us to fall into patterns in most aspects of our lives. Human beings generally oscillate between the comfort of patterns and the need for newness. I suggest trying new things and bring something new in to your typical sexual patterns and see what happens.
6. Avoid Myths-the number one myth I hear all the time is that women orgasm from intercourse. 33 percent do and the rest do not. Don’t keep trying to make it happen in that way if it is not happening. There are so many other wonderful ways for women to have orgasms. Explore the ways that work best for your partner and validate those ways.
7. Communicate-Many people are so bored of hearing this one but it is true! Most of us are not mind readers so we need to hear from our partners what they like and dislike. So speak up and ask her what she likes.
8. Time-Make Time. Sexual activity is a one of those things that can be pushed aside in our busy lives, but it can be the piece of a relationship that really keeps partners connected.
9. Skills-Many people view sex as something you should naturally be good at. Many aspects of ones sexuality are learned. Get skills. Read and ask questions. Good skills as a lover can not be under estimated.
10. Joy. Find the joy in pleasing her. I have a friend who says,” if the host is happy at the party.. so are the guests”. The same can be said of sex. If you are having a good time pleasing her, chances are that feeling will be contagious.
Many women do not have any easy time having orgasms, in fact some women, never have orgasms. Sex can still be a pleasurable!
And..Get Help-If you or your partner are struggling with any your sexual issues.. get help. Low libido, difficulty having orgasms, or pain..are common. Many women will struggle with a sexual dysfunction at some point in their lives. There are great therapists, sex therapists and doctors out there. Sexual dysfunction is common and there are great ways to treat it.
Jolie
MCFS Kegel Exercise CD
Love Liquid
