I had a patient yesterday who has zero sex drive. Zero. She has never masturbated. She has never fantasized. She has never been turned on as far as she can tell. She is sad and frustrated and it is effecting her marriage.

She spent the last two years on sex therapy. The first year was with a sex therapist who spend the entire time having her discuss the fact that she was raised by a step father, a warm, nurturing man and the only one she ever knew as a father since he married her mother when she was pregnant. Not surprisingly this didn’t help her sex drive a whole lot.

The second sex therapist did similarly. But they also spend a great deal of time talking about a dentist who paid too much attention to her and  kissed her on the cheek when she was 15. This didn’t seem to affect her sex drive much either.

 ENOUGH.  At some point we need to get smarter about the time  (and money) we are spending  on therapy.

Consider the following possibilities:  Perhaps some problems have a physical component. Maybe some are genetic. Some problems simply cannot be helped. Spending time in sex therapy grasping at straws because the therapist needs something to address,  is not only useless but detrimental to patients. If you consider these likely possibilities and their relatively direct treatments, you will be a wise consumer and an educated patient. You know if you are being helped. If you are not, stop.