Posts Tagged ‘low libido’

Response from a patient on the “medicalization” of female sexuality debate

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 by Ilene Rosenthal, Marketing

We received an unsolicited response to Dr. Marcus’ position piece on the “medicalization” of female sexuality from a patient.  Her words speak for themselves.

“The last time I was in the office I told Dr.Marcus that she will be remembered for her contribution to Female Sexuality the way that Margaret Sanger was with birth control.

I read the article (in the latest e-newsletter from the Medical Center for Female Sexuality) and I could not agree more. It took a great deal of courage for me to pick up the phone and make that first appointment. I had spoken with a psychotherapist at length about the problem itching. discomfort and pain in my vagina; loss of desire that had nothing to do with my attraction to and love for my partner and finally my inability to achieve orgasms after being someone who previously had no sexual problems and certainly no problems achieving and orgasm. As I was in a new relationship my therapist said it was just a matter of getting comfortable with a new person. I know my body and I knew she was wrong. I tried the ‘herbal cures”, specifically Thandia from Native Remedies. Three months and I felt no difference.

I have been on Dr. Marcus’ s treatment regime for less than a month. The vaginal dryness and discomfort ended the first week. My level of sexual desire has returned almost to the level it was before I noticed a change and this weekend I had an orgasm that was as good as some of the ones I had at 30. So, I am a firm believer that there is no “magic pill” but a complex mixture of supports that Dr. Marcus has developed for each patient. You saved my sexuality and thus my relationship which is a huge part of my ongoing happiness.”

“M”, July 2010

Debate: the “Medicalization” of Female Sexuality

Friday, July 23rd, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD
I hope you’ll forgive the lengthy perspective below, but this is an issue I am extremely passionate about- and more than a little!
 
If I hear one more time that women’s sexual dysfunction is a myth created by the media, and that the search for medical solutions is merely a thinly veiled way for the pharmaceutical companies to fleece innocent and gullible women, I may shoot someone. 

The Numbers

Ask around:  women have long been complaining to each other and their physicians about various sexual problems that present issues in their relationships and with their own quality of life:   ”I have pain.”  “I don’t get turned on.” “I can’t have an orgasm.” Even if you do believe that the pharmaceutical companies are looking for ways to keep their shareholders happy, it is difficult to find fault given these statistics.

Current studies indicate that 43% of women express dissatisfaction with their sex lives at some point in time. Hmmmm. Let’s say the “real” number is being inflated by 100% — that would still leave us with one quarter of all women suffering from these conditions and their unhappy consequences.

How real is this?  For the skeptics,  let’s say that number is still inflated and the real, discounted number is only 10% of all women who are experiencing female sexual dysfunction.  Even that would 30 million women in US alone!  Do the math:  21% would be 60 million women.  And 43% would be 120 million. 

Are we painting a clear picture here?   Whether it’s 30, 60 or 120 million women suffering from female sexual dysfunction, it’s only reasonable to accept that it’s a problem worth addressing.

Big Bad Pharma

Now let’s talk about the big bad pharmaceutical companies accountable to their shareholders. Profit and share-price are the motives for making a product which works and will sell to a large patient population driven. No question.

When they look at the statistics they must be salivating!  What a huge group of prospective users!  An effective drug that solves low desire, for example, would be a boon!

So what’s wrong with that? 

What if the motivation for studying a solution for millions of women is profit?  Personally, I don’t really care what their motives are as long as they are working on the problem. If Big Pharma is trying to produce a drug that may help low desire or arousal, good for them!  This may also be good for some my patients, which is the point, isn’t it?

Medical treatment and psychotherapy

Strikingly, you most often hear complaints about the “medicalization” of female sexual dysfunction from psychotherapists.  Many seem horrified at the possibility that physiology may be at the root of female sexual dysfunction, and claim that practitioners will push suffering women into spending their hard earned dollars on questionable medical treatment. 

In our practice, we have the opportunity each week to refer some of our patients – including some who have found medical treatment for their fsd – to local psychotherapists for longer term counseling connected with their experiences with sexual dysfunction. We recognize that the priority is getting patients the help they need in whatever way best suits their temperament, medical condition and wallet.  Even though we believe that our approach of integrating the psycho-sexual with the physiological is powerful, we accept that some women will decide on traditional talk therapy to address their needs. Just because there may be a physiological reason for a particular sexual condition, does not mean that there cannot be related psychological – or even psychiatric – dysfunction that needs to be addressed by a specialist.  But let’s be fair – the reverse is also true.

And finally, as part of the health care debate it’s hard to disagree with effective medical treatment that carries an annual cost of less than $2000,  particularly when compared to upwards of $7000 per year for psychological counseling alone.  So, factoring in the cost of different treatment options must be part of the equation for every patient.

“Quick Fix” vs. the “Long Haul”

To women who experience ongoing sexual difficulties, the choice between a quick fix and an interminable journey is unhelpful.  Calling medical treatment for female sexual dysfunction a “quick fix” undermines the hard work patients do to face their condition head on.  Patients will often overcome great embarrassment and insecurity to seek treatment.  They may try unfamiliar or even uncomfortable procedures to address their problems.  They may need to involve a disappointed or resistant partner in order to make progress.  None of this describes a “quick fix” and the psychotherapeutic community’s knee-jerk assignment of that term demonstrates disrespect for women who are sincerely struggling with an untenable situation.

Two key questions remain at the fore when a patient considers treatment options:  will it work and is it safe?  After that, the next question is often: how long will it take (the adult version of, “Are we there yet?”)?  Of course, the fact that medical treatment of FSD often resolves problems within a few months may alienate therapists who believe in a longer-term process.  That, we believe, needs to be left up to the patient.

At the root of this argument is another assumption:  that intimacy and sex are the same. The sooner we recognize that this is not true in every case, the more open the psychotherapy community will be to considering other channels to help patients find complementary paths to solving the distress of FSD.

A “quick fix” for the media

As we watch the media respond to the news regarding Flibanserin,  Boehringer Ingelheim’s drug to improve sexual desire in women currently in clinical trials,  we see how desperate they are to find a  pithy, newsworthy way to present an issue.  That’s where “Flibanserin, Viagra for women” comes from.

Such a synopsis ignores the different way the medications work (vascular for Viagra, hormonal/neurotransmission for Flibanserin) and disregards the complexity of sexual dysfunction for women.  The lack of depth in describing the problem and its possible resolution is astounding and only reflects poorly on responsible media coverage.

“The consumer is not an idiot. She is your wife”

This quote is only one of many tenets of advertising and marketing proffered by David Ogilvy, considered the father of modern advertising.

To suggest that women will be sheep and buy whatever cream or pill is recommended, and keep using it even if it’s not working, is ludicrous and infantilizing. Women are smart consumers. When they have a problem they try a solution and they stop if it doesn’t work. I can list a slew of herbal “remedies”  that have been on the market for sexual dysfunction. Some had significant marketing and PR dollars behind them, and nearly all of them are no longer being sold.

I have the utmost confidence in women who are seeking solutions to obstacles that stand in the way of their goals.

An intelligent, responsible person will evaluate treatment options with her own needs at the fore, and with an eye towards efficacy and safety and effort.  She will not be convinced by phony claims, snake oil or an unsatisfying experience.

So, as you can see, this is not snake oil or fantasy, but a set of sound alternatives based on medical practice and fact.  Virtually all conditions can be addressed in far less than one year with follow up assessment as needed.    If you’ve ever met a young married woman who has been unable to consummate her marriage, a vibrant mom of teenagers who simply cannot find her libido, a post menopausal 55 year old who can no longer achieve orgasm, a young single woman who wrestles with her relationship because she cannot feel aroused, then you know how important it is to be prepared with all possible solutions.  It is our job the help her have the sexual life she wants, regardless of what the critics say.

Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus interviewed by CBS News on female sexual desire

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 by Ilene Rosenthal, Marketing

Last week, Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, who has been the clinical director of the Medical Center for Female Sexuality for 10 years, was interviewed by CBS Channel 2 News in New York regarding the expected upcoming approval of a treatment for low sexual desire in women.  Flibanserin, manufactured by the pharmaceutical company Boehringer Ingelheim, is expected to gain FDA approval in the coming weeks for the treatment of hyposexual sexual desire disorder, or HSDD.

The treatment works by increasing the production of dopamine, a chemical in the brain that contributes to sexual desire.

Experts acknowledge that female sexual desire stems from a combination of hormone levels, chemicals in the brain, blood flow and, of course, the quality of the intimate relationship between two people.

Dr. Marcus applauded the addition of Flibanserin in her “toolbox” of possible treatments for her patients, but cautioned that female sexuality is complex and no one treatment is a panacea for all women with low desire.

MCFS patient Gail Marien was also interviewed on CBS and spoke honestly about her journey from the virtual desmise of her libido following a hysterectomy to her satisfying sex life with her husband today.

View the video here

Did you know: the pill neutralizes your sex drive

Thursday, May 20th, 2010 by Ilene Rosenthal, Marketing

Fifty years ago, the birth control pill gave women a freedom that previously eluded them: without fear of unwanted pregnancy, women could engage in romantic or recreational sex with relative control over the prospect of pregnancy.

I’m sure many of us would agree that this was a life-changing development, aligned with the women’s movement and a gift that allowed women to have children when they wanted to, and, yes, have sex when they wanted to, too.

We never imagined that this freedom would come with a side effect that was filled with irony, but a study has recently been released by the Journal of Sexual Medicine that connects serious declines in sex drive with hormonal birth control.

Bat Sheva Marcus, clinical director of the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in New York, had a lot to say about this in a recent article in The Daily Beast, the online newsstory outlet.  Dr. Marcus was interviewed last week and asked to respond to the conclusions drawn in this study of over 1000 women.  Her point of view is based on nearly eleven years in practice, treating women with different kinds of sexual dysfunction, low desire being the more common culprit.

Her response was declarative:  “all hormones are suspect!”  and estimates the pill is a contributing factor in 60 percent of the women she treats for low libido.

Read what real women say in the article and on the MCFS website

But things weren’t always like this….

Monday, May 10th, 2010 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, DHS

If I had a nickel every time a woman told me about her sexual situation with her husband and concluded with, “But it was never like that,” I would be a wealthy woman. 

After being married for 10 or 15 years, people compare what is going on in their relationship currently with what it was like when they were 20 or 25 years old, and they are surprised that “things are just not the same”.  As we age, there will be a number of changes our bodies will go through.  Women may lubricate less; men may require more time in order to achieve an erection, some places on your body may not be as sensitive as they used to be, you may even prefer different positions than those that typically worked for the two of you.

But if you stop and think about this for a minute, this can be the fun part!  You get to explore and experiment all over again!  Communicating about these changes with your partner may be the hardest aspect of exploring new ways to enhance your sex life.  What we find is, like a lot of things in life, taking the first step is hard, but then it feels good and you feel proud and you’re on a roll (think exercise, diet, etc).  So raise the issue with your partner and, together, find what works for you.  Adapting to these situations is essential to  a healthy sex life, because they are changes we all will ultimately go through.

Oh What a Difference Some Testosterone Makes!

Thursday, April 15th, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

A female patient just told me the following story. She thought her husband of 15 years was having an affair. He hadn’t been acting suspiciously or working late. He just was less demonstrative, less loving and seemed way less interested in sex. They  had always enjoyed a fun sex life. He usually initiated sex but sometimes she did as well and they would have sex about twice a week. Now he never initiated and when she did, he acted pressured or distracted. If she didn’t initiate two weeks could go by without having sex. She was confused and hurt and so, so sad.

 She finally approached him and asked if he was having an affair. He was stunned and assured her that he loved her as much as always – but when she pointed out to him that their sex life had dwindled to nothing he seemed even more stunned. She was right and he somehow hadn’t noticed. He was pretty shaken up and tried after that to be more interested in their sex life, but it was a chore and it showed. We suggested that he see Dr. Werner and after a few months of gentle prodding he did go. Low and behold… he had low testosterone. (I could have told her that!)

 Well, he’s been on testosterone now for 4 months and she said he’s a changed man. He is initiating and they are back to having fun sex. Even more, the teasing and the playfulness has returned to their marriage. They are both so much happier. Her face lit up as she told me this story. And once again, (I know that sometimes I sound like a broken record,) the sex has made such a big difference in so many aspects of their marriage and their lives!

Different Roads

Monday, April 12th, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

I am often struck by the varying and disparate ways in which we solve problems. I am fascinated by the variety of  routes people take on their way to a solution.

I saw a long time patient today whose situation provided such a great example of this concept. She is a 45 year old woman who is in a long term relationship. We had lowered her level of hormones looking toward the possibilityof weaning her off of them. She told us, in this visit, that her sexual relationship has become lack-luster once again. As she put it, “I’m back to wishing he’d have more of a life, that he’d go off to hang out with his own friends, that he’d go back to scuba diving. Somehow, when he’s more independent and less involved with me he appears more distant, mysterious and the sex is better.”

We talked about her going back into therapy to discuss some of these sexual issues more explicitly with her husband. Then she sighed. “Or,” she said,  “I could just go back on the higher level of testosterone. That worked too.”

She then went on to explain so poignantly and succinctly that when her general desire level was higher it didn’t seem to matter so much what was going on with her husband’s life. She wanted to have sex with him, the sex was hotter and, as a result the relationship was generally more passionate which kept the cycle going.

I can almost hear the naysayers shaking their heads… tut, tut, they’d say, you’re recommending drugs to wash away the real underlying problems. But I don’t see it that way. I see it as many roads leading to Rome.   Understanding the realities of the road allows an individual to find the one that they can best travel.

So my patient had a choice to make – as many of us do in so many areas of our lives.  There’s no one right way to handle things, just different routes.  And we have to choose the ones that work best for us and the day to day workings of our lives.

Libido flip-flop

Friday, April 9th, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

This entry was written recently by a patient at MCFS following six months of treatment for low desire.  Her previous entry, written after her second appointment last October, was posted on April 5th.

Last night I kissed my husband’s ear and he did not move. He wasn’t in the mood and I was!

For some people this would be frustrating. For me it was amazing! Finally, our sex life is equal. We have an equal investment in pleasuring each other.  With almost equal interest in sex – it is no longer just about his needs and my succumbing (reluctantly). The mere fact that I was interested did change his mind, and a wonderful evening ensued, but it was a pivotal moment for us.  The last few months have changed our, and my, life. God had given the world the gift of sexuality and pleasure, and it was a gift that I never received, never really understood. I now know that I was missing out on huge piece of the beauty that exists in this world and missing out on a more meaningful and spiritual connection with my husband. I am eternally grateful to the MCFS for helping me find this gift.

Why I’m Not as Crazy as I Thought

Monday, April 5th, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

The following is a blog entry written by a patient at MCFS.  Later this week we will post another entry by the same patient, reporting on her progress.  This was written in October 2009

For about 14 years now I have been told constantly that things are in my head. Stomach cramps-must be stress, acne- must be stress, extreme exhaustion-stress, canker sores- stress, breathing issues- stress, and most recently, no interest in sex - stress and depression. 

But recentl, for the first time in my life, someone found a real reason something was going wrong.  And I could not be happier. 

My life in general is amazing. I have a loving doting husband, two beautiful children, a wonderful home, and a fine job. And yet, depression, being overweight, exhaustion and a low sex drive have plagued my life. With some strong encouragement from my husband, who is tired of feeling physically and sexually rejected, I went to the Medical Center for Female Sexuality.  And,  for the first time, someone checked my hormone levels. No one before had ever thought to stick a needle in my arm and actually see what was going on in there. They just made me pop pills and sit in front of therapists and talk and talk and talk. None of which did much except put band-aids over the problems and cause me to doubt myself more and more. With each passing day I would feel less competent, less self-confident, and more sure that I was just crazy, that many of the simple pleasures in life were out of my grasp and this was my destiny.

But yesterday that all changed.

Yesterday 2 doctors sat me down and showed me my lab results. My hormones are a mess. My thyroid is inactive and I have almost no testosterone. There is something wrong with me! I cried the whole way home for the office, grateful to God that there is an end in sight.

The journey ahead will be difficult, hormone therapy will be tough and I’m not so excited about the potential side effects. But it will all be worth it.

“My husband Wants to have Sex Everyday” and other popular myths…

Friday, March 26th, 2010 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

To be filed under the “I wish I had a nickel every time a patient said this to me.”

Women with low libidos always think their husbands want to have sex every day. When I am doing an intake with a woman who is having sex (because she feels obligated) say, once every 3 weeks, I will ask her how often  her partner wants to have sex. Invariably she looks at me like I am the village idiot and says “My husband wants to have sex everyday…  of course.”    The subtext being that all men want to have sex every day.

 Sorry, but I must disabuse you of this notion. Most men over the age of 19 really don’t want to have sex every day. They get tired too, you know. However, men who are not having any satisfying sex, or men who feel like their partners never want to have sex, often feel as though they want to have sex every day.  It may be on their minds constantly; they may be worried about it all the time and every night they may be thinking… is this the night I’m going to get to have sex?!

Think about it. If you love chocolate fudge and you had a box of it sitting there which you couldn’t eat and you didn’t know when you’d finally be able to have a piece, you’d probably be thinking about the fudge all the time! But that doesn’t mean if the fudge was readily available whenever you wanted it, you’d eat it all day long!

 The same is true about sex. When these women’s libidos are back to normal, and they are happily having sex, they aren’t having sex every day.  Their perfectly human husbands want sex regularly, but not every day.  If you doubt this, here’s a suggestion: try initiating sex every night. It never fails, by the end of week two your partner will be looking at you funny and asking if it’d be okay to wait until tomorrow night. 

And for a woman whose libido is back in check, tomorrow is perfectly ok!