Posts Tagged ‘enhancing your sex life’

Dressing Sexy

Monday, February 7th, 2011 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD


There’s always some women’s magazine article encouraging you to wear a sexy negligee or bewitching underwear. It’s a point made often because we are Pavlovian creatures and we do respond to outside stimulus. If we remember having great sex wearing that red satin teddy we wore the year we got engaged, it’s very likely that the red satin teddy, (or , perhaps, any red satin) will make our body tingle when we see it.  Clothes affect how we feel, not simply the way other peoples see us.

And what about more subtle (and maybe more practical) ways to dress to feel sexy. When was the last time you left a few extra buttons open on your shirt, wore a low cut blouse or a skirt that was a little bit shorter than usual. Those are small, maybe insignificant changes for most of the world around us, but they may make us feel more daring, playful and in the end, sexy. Yes, you may dress to be enticing to your partner, but you should also take the opportunity to dress to get yourself feeling sexy and turned on.  Ultimately, that may be more important.

But things weren’t always like this….

Monday, May 10th, 2010 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, PhD

If I had a nickel every time a woman told me about her sexual situation with her husband and concluded with, “But it was never like that,” I would be a wealthy woman. 

After being married for 10 or 15 years, people compare what is going on in their relationship currently with what it was like when they were 20 or 25 years old, and they are surprised that “things are just not the same”.  As we age, there will be a number of changes our bodies will go through.  Women may lubricate less; men may require more time in order to achieve an erection, some places on your body may not be as sensitive as they used to be, you may even prefer different positions than those that typically worked for the two of you.

But if you stop and think about this for a minute, this can be the fun part!  You get to explore and experiment all over again!  Communicating about these changes with your partner may be the hardest aspect of exploring new ways to enhance your sex life.  What we find is, like a lot of things in life, taking the first step is hard, but then it feels good and you feel proud and you’re on a roll (think exercise, diet, etc).  So raise the issue with your partner and, together, find what works for you.  Adapting to these situations is essential to  a healthy sex life, because they are changes we all will ultimately go through.