Things I Hate

Okay – I think I’m going to start a list of things I hate or that make my blood boil.
I figure one of the advantages of having a blog is being able to vent, right?
So here’s something I hate.

I hate couples therapists who are not comfortable dealing with sex!! You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if they were honest, and said to new couples coming in “you know, I’m happy to work on your other issues but I really am not trained in dealing with sexual issues.” But most of them don’t. And then, you know what happens? A couple, whose major issue might really and truly be sexual, sit and spend half a year talking about their parents, their communication, their abandonment issues… and then they quit and they are worse off than when they started because now they think they’ve already “tried the therapy route.”

It drives me crazy.

I can’t tell you how many couples I’ve seen who have said things like:

“Well I tried to raise the sexual issues but he said we work on that later.”
“Never in the 2 years we were  seeing her did she ask about our sex life.”
“She said we need to talk about our parental issues before we talk about our sex life.”
Or my  personal favorite:
“He said if we work on our communication, the sex will follow.”

NO. NO. NO. If you are going to a couples counselor and one of your issues is sexual, MAKE SURE it’s raised initially, that the therapist seems comfortable with the issue and focused on it. If the issues seems to “disappear” in therapy during the next month… pick yourself up and find yourself a new couples counselor.