Many theories exist about why one might fake an orgasm. In a recent study discussed on CBS News, a researcher at Columbia University found that women fake it to retain their mates. Dr Kaighobadi, who conducted the study (the study can be found in the November issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior), calls it “mate retention manipulation”. She suggests that “faking an orgasm to keep a mate from straying may be an evolutionary adaptation. Previous research suggests when a woman has an orgasm; it may cause her body to retain sperm for childbearing”. The evolutionary theory suggests faking an orgasm unconsciously might help a woman retain the sperm of a man with “good genes,” giving her the best chance to have a healthy child.  This is certainly one theory.

In my opinion, faking an orgasm is not the right choice. Although you may retain your mate in the short term, you could very well jeopardize the health of your relationship for any long term possibilities. Most people don’t like to be lied to, and in simple terms, faking it is to lie. It creates a breach in honesty, which can hinder intimacy and be hard to repair. A couple’s sexual health and compatibility always contains an element of communication, and  if your partner has no information about what you like, it can be exceptionally hard to make you feel good or have an orgasm.

I often see women who have been lying to their partners for years leading to two problems in their relationships as opposed to one; first we have to deal with the betrayal and only then can we face the orgasm issue. Why not just tell the truth from the beginning? In this case the truth can set you free.  If you are honest with your partner, you will be freed up to have authentic satisfying orgasms. Doesn’t that sound better than practicing “mate retention manipulation”?