I love this article in the New York Times about how to fall in love. I love it because it describes exactly what I see day after day in my office. I often see couples in distress when they arrive but slowly with each passing session and week, I see them often start to choose …
Continue ReadingDouble-standard, double-trouble.
A man in his late 50’s goes to see a therapist for stress. After sitting through a few sessions, he finally musters up the guts to tell her what’s really bothering him. “So, I’ve noticed that since I turned 50, my libido has slowly disappeared.” The therapist, whether trained in sexual dysfunction or not, will …
Continue ReadingA new way of getting to “yes.”
Yesterday, a patient told me that she and her husband had developed a new way of communicating about sex and I thought it was so clever, I thought I’d pass it along! They have been having some problems with their sex life and, more recently, although things were getting better, her husband was getting fed …
Continue ReadingGo get your freak on.
There is a lot of hype surrounding the release of 50 Shades of Grey and BDSM. Here is some food for thought from the mouth of Esther Perel, therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. Perel says, “I do believe that the emphasis on egalitarian and respectful sex — purged of any expressions …
Continue ReadingJust want to cuddle?
I was a little perplexed by this recent article in the Wall Street Journal. It seems that a cuddle deficit is sweeping the nation and thus cuddle centers are opening nationwide. I certainly understand both the need and the power of contact. I have seen all the research on the power of touch and the …
Continue ReadingLearning to fantasize: go where your brain takes you.
I spend a lot of time with patients talking about fantasizing. For many women it’s not something they do naturally. It’s something that they have to learn. I’ve come to believe that fantasizing is a skill like many others. While some people take to it more naturally than others, everyone is capable of doing it …
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