Seeing vaginismus everywhere.

My husband claims I see vaginismus everywhere. Okay. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I do…it kills me. When I see a woman who is totally avoidant of relationships I suspect she is fearful of penetration. When I see a young girl fearful of tampons, I suspect she is panicked at the idea of putting something inside. …

Continue Reading

Musings on where desire comes from.

I have been struggling mightily recently with a spate of Ultra-Orthodox women who are completely desireless…I mean totally, completely. Almost asexual. I told my husband the other night that I am embarrassed to admit it but I sometimes despair when I’m working with these patients. We help, but it’s such a struggle. Sometimes I feel …

Continue Reading

Let’s get it on.

The Guide to Getting it On is a book by Paul Joannides. He describes himself as a research psychoanalyst and he writes a blog regularly for Psychology Today called “As You Like It”. He deals with a lot of important issues in both his book and in his blog, however his style in the book …

Continue Reading

Asexuality.

The concept of asexuality first came to my attention a few months ago when I began to see a young woman who was struggling with the fact that she felt no desire to be sexual. As a teenager she felt ostracized from having no interest in sex of any kind. Her girlfriends were all talking …

Continue Reading

Adversity and desire.

It happens all the time. A tearful, distraught woman sits down and informs us that: Her husband is leaving her/has left her. Her husband is having/was having an affair. She believes this is due to the fact that they haven’t had sex in (you fill in the blank: 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 …

Continue Reading

I’ve been converted.

At the Medical Center I recently saw a patient who had rarely used vibrators. She came to see us to try to improve her orgasms, which had become weaker and taking her longer to achieve. We often see this in women as they age; sometimes it is a shift in hormones, which we can address, …

Continue Reading

A good day at our center.

Someone once asked me what makes a good day at our center. Today is one of those days. Today I got an email with a copy of a baby picture from a patient who struggled for 2 years with vaginismus. She is fine, having great sex and has a beautiful little baby girl to prove …

Continue Reading