Archive for December, 2009

Holiday Sex: It’s good for you!

Thursday, December 24th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

Round and around we go arguing whether having a lot of sex makes you healthier or being healthier make you have more sex.  As usual I’m going to argue that it’s a little bit of both! If you feel healthy and fit (no matter your age or weight) you’ll be likely to have better sex. And having more frequent and better sex has proven to be beneficial in so many ways. You know how it is, no matter how thin or “in shape” you are, if you just plowed your way through a bag of chips and washed it down with soda, you probably will not feel sexy – (you may feel bloated and greasy, but probably not sexy.) On the other hand if you’ve just come from a day or two of eating well and getting some exercise, even if you haven’t fulfilled your fitness goals, you probably will feel healthy and much more interested in a romp with your partner.  So if you’re at a holiday party this week, see if it helps to ask yourself if you’d rather eat that… whatever it is… or you’d rather feel like peeling off your clothes and going for it when you get home. Click here to read more. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34514075/ns/health-sexual_health/

And happy holidays.

30% of Women orgasm through vaginal penetration

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, DHS

Although the following statistic is located on our webpage, women are still surprised to learn that only 30% of women will orgasm through vaginal penetration.  That means almost 70% of women do not orgasm through intercourse.  At times, women and their partners may feel like they are doing something wrong, or that something is wrong with them.  Orgasms can be attained through a number of sexual behaviors.  Many women often need some form of clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm but unfortunately, intercourse does not always provide direct stimulation to the clitoris.  Some women will need to stimulate their own clitoris, or have a partner stimulate it for them, or use a vibrator during intercourse.  So, there isn’t anything wrong, you may just need more focus on your clitoris.  Finding a smaller vibrator that can be used with a partner may be useful in trying to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse.

In sex therapy and treatment, sometimes just talking helps

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

I’m often struck, when first meeting with patients, how much help they get just by talking. During the first appointment, when I get a history I feel like patients relax so much. It’s like they finally had a chance to tell the truth (sometimes for the first time) to someone who doesn’t judge, doesn’t think they are strange and perhaps, for the first time, makes them feel like their concerns, habits, fears, likes and dislikes are “perfectly normal.”

In many cases, the stories patients are sharing with me, (how they masturbate, their preferred means of having sex, their “fetishes,”) are really quite common.

Then there are patients who tell me less usual stories or preferences. Again, they are often so very embarrassed about things which are not harmful and provide a source of pleasure to them.

I hope, as women explore their own sexual health, they come to believe and understand that there is just no “right” way to go about having sex!

www.centerforfemalesexuality.com

Is Sex Therapy Psychological or Physical? Yes!

Friday, December 4th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

 Often sexual problems are the result of both physical obstacles and emotional issues. Before committing to sex therapy to uncover the causes and stresses connected to sexual dysfunction, you may want to rule out any physical conditions that can be treated with relative ease and in a short time period.

In recent years, research into the area of female sexuality has become more focused. We are beginning to understand the complicated physiology of blood vessels and nerves in the pelvis and how surgeries, childbirth, illnesses, medications, hormonal changes and aging may affect a woman’s sexual experience.

When these conditions exist, in conjunction against the emotional backdrop change (marriage, childbirth, menopause or other lifestage developments), only an integrated approach to diagnosis and treatment will be successful.

So, yes.  Read more information on our full website: www.centerforfemalesexuality.com

MCFS Clinical Director responds to the New York Times

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhD

New York Times

Sunday Magazine

November 29, 2009

 

Dear Editor:

Daniel Bergner’s article in the Times magazine section, Women Who Want to Want, once again poignantly expresses both the deep distress felt by women with the loss of their libido as well as the complexity of understanding and treating the condition. Women’s loss of desire, while experienced sharply and distinctly, can be extraordinarily varied in both its primary cause,  its contributing factors and in the range of treatment options. 

Women’s sexual problems, of necessity, must be assessed by integrating the emotional, physical, chemical and  psychosocial perspectives in order for us to be successful in treating them.  Most often, as your article states, recommended treatment protocols are unilateral; the underlying assumption being that one “magic bullet,” should alleviate the problem. Often we find that this leaves women who have tried a single approach feeling as though they have failed;  and more hopeless, resigned and unhappy.   

Only with an integrated approach to diagnosing and treating women with female sexual dysfunction, more will have a better chance at achieving what they are looking for, a full and satisfying sex life.  While critics may believe this is yet another “luxury” health problem, we’re certain none of them would want to settle for a tepid sex life.  And if what we see in our practice is any indication, they’re in good company. 

Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW, MPH, PhD

Clinical Director

Medical Center for Female Sexuality

2975 Westchester Avenue

Purchase, New York 10577

(914) 328-3700

260 East 66th Street

New York, New York 10065

(646) 839-0700

www.centerforfemalesexuality.com