Here is a FASCINATING review of the economics (and to some degree lifestyle) of prostitution, both the high end and the low end. Prostitution is considered the world’s oldest profession — and yet we truly know so very little about the women who inhabit this world. If you have a few minutes, like economics and want a glimpse into that world, this blog post is worth a read!
Archive for October, 2009
The Economics of Prostitution
Friday, October 30th, 2009 by adminAll in a day’s work
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDHere’s an interesting secret. Women often find what their partners do professionally sexy. Or even more commonly, women find their partner, doing their work, in their place of business, sexy.
I hear it all the time. “I saw him there, all sweaty under the car and…,” or “I walked in and he was meeting with some other suits, his sleeves were rolled up and he was animated and I could have..,” or ” I saw him working on a patient, and it was such a turn on.” And this was from someone dating a dentist. A dentist!! So I am trying to figure out what this is all about.
I think women get turned on by competence. So when they see their husband or partner in control, in charge, there is something uniquely sexy about that.
I also think that when we see our partners in a new or different environment, it makes us take another fresh look at them. This is not the same guy we fight with about the dishes, or see changing the diapers. This is a new and exciting side of our partner. And that can have its own erotic charge.
My advice? Use it. Consider role playing, or even better show up at his work place some time. I’m assuming you can take it from there.
Do women hate porn????
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, DHSA recent post to another blog responded to the question “Why women hate porn” and listed a number of reasons why some women may dislike pornography. This is understandable on some level since a lot of porn suggests things that do not or cannot happen in real life.
For example, how am I, a woman, able to do some of the acrobatics that occur in porn? Will my male partner expect me to stand on a 3-inch spiked heel, while the other one is raised on a desk, and he enters me from behind for 15 minutes?
This sparks an educational discussion about the realities of pornography and erotica. Much of the porn that is viewed today is made for the person watching. It is created to generate a response, not to get real people do imitate it. Many of the positions are good camera angles so the viewer can see everything and get turned on; not so we can try the calisthetics ourselves.
There may also be insecurity on the part of men and women watching porn. For example, some men may question their own penis size compared to many of the performers. Average male penis is 5-6 inches long; however, the average penis size portrayed in pornography is 10-13 inches. Also, many of these men are able to have sexual activity for long periods of time. Therefore, some men may question why they only last 7 minutes during intercourse but the performers are lasting 15-20 minutes.
And lets just say those ‘perfect’ breasts and hairless, blemishless women don’t exactly represent the real woman, and may make us feel inferior when we watch porn.
This needs to be addressed so we don’t look at porn as our answers to sexual information or our answer to the question, “am I normal?”
There are many types of sexual visual imagery. Maybe the reason why women don’t like pornography is because of the type of porn they are watching. Often we will hear that porn is degrading to women. Again, what type of porn are you watching? There are types of erotica that are educational in nature. They show real people, with real bodies talking and having sex. If you are interested in this type look on the Sinclair Institute’s website and Comstock Films. They tend to be more educational. There has also been a huge influx of women running pornography companies. They were porn stars in the business, who took their money to open their own companies and run things the way they see fit. There was a special on this on CNN called “The Business of Pleasure”. Quite often, these women who run the company offer different types of films that focus more on the woman. In fact, one of the producers stated that there are some scenes she will not include in the final cut because they are not appealing to women. Typically, in pornography, you know the scene is over once the male ejaculates, no discussion or focus on the woman. That doesn’t seem to appealing to woman. Yet with some of these women producers, they spend a great deal of time pleasing the women in the film. That may be very appealing to women. The answer to bad porn isn’t to abolish it; it is to demand for better pornography!
Engagement gifts, wedding presents, birthdays…. sex toys show creative genius!
Friday, October 16th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDSex toys are becoming mainstream. As well they should. The Journal of Sexual Medicine recently reported that a whopping 53 percent of women had used a vibrator, and although the numbers were lower for the guys, they were getting in on the act too! And the study suggested that sexual satisfaction amongst “toy users” was overall better than the “non-users.”
Here’s a link to a piece written by a well educated and well informed “sorority sister,” describing her experience buying sex toys as an engagement gift. It’s fun, but even more so, it’s informative. It seems Ann Arbor Michigan is home to one terrific sex toy shop. Maybe it’s time you located one near you? Or, failing that, go on line and … do a little shopping!
http://www.michigandaily.com/content/rose-afriyie-shopping-sex-toys
A typical second visit
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, DHSA few weeks ago, I posted about a typical first visit here at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality. For some, this may have put you at ease knowing what to expect. So what does a second appointment look like? Depending on what your initial issue is coming into the medical center, a second appointment typically occurs two weeks after your initial appointment. For some women who are experiencing pain during/before intercourse, you may have a follow up appointment as early as one week. This gives both the sexuality counselor and nurse practitioner time to go over lab work as well as information given during the initial consultation. What is special about the medical center is that we individualize our treatment options per patient. Blood work is explained thoroughly, and treatment options will vary by patient. But we do explore possible hormonal interventions if there is a hormonal deficiency, medical interventions, as well as behavioral modifications. Sexual dysfunctions can be very frustrating and debilitating for the patient experiencing the symptoms and can cause stress and strain for the patient’s relationships. Take that step and make an appointment to gain further insight into your sexuality.
Let’s Ban Spandex
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDA federal appeals court has overturned a Texas statute outlawing sales of sex toys, essentially leaving Alabama as the only state with such a ban.
This was recently reported by the New York Times. So I am left wondering…
WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO BAN SEX TOYS??????
I guess I can understand why someone would choose NOT TO USE sex toys. I guess I would even understand why someone would find sex toys “gross,” but on what basis could someone possibly explain wanting to ban sex toys for OTHER PEOPLE?? Because they could possibly be used in a way or with someone that they would not approve of? If that’s the case, let’s ban spandex. I’m appalled at some of the people wearing it! Or let’s ban feathers. You would never believe what people are using feathers for these days! Or how about whipped cream and chocolate sauce? Maybe those should be banned too, because people can use them in “inappropriate” ways?
The bottom line, is that anything can be a “sex toy.” And how and when you choose to use a sex toy is quite individual. To outlaw the sale of them seems silly and ludicrous and hardly defensible. Finally, think of all that tax revenue the state won’t earn on sex toys!
And the Survey Says……Sex!
Friday, October 2nd, 2009 by Ilene Rosenthal, MarketingWhy is it that we need a survey to prove that women are interested in sex? And when we get the data, why is everyone so surprised at the results??
A new online survey asked 500 women aged 35 to 49 about their interest in sex, and whaddaya know, 76% of women are “interested in maintaining a healthy sex life” and about 50% declare they “initiate sex with their partner.”
Among respondants, 35% say sex improves with age and experience, and half of the women surveyed said that they have sex once a week or more.
It’s not entirely surprising that this study is getting press. The ‘middle aged’ woman who’s the CEO of a fragmented and unpredictable corporation called her family may be perceived as too busy, exhausted, or just generally distracted to be interested in intimacy.
There’s no arguing: the business of feeding, clothing and educating her children while cooking, cleaning and holding down a job is unimaginable sometimes. But we also know from the women who come to the Center that a robust sex life can be an antidote to all that work; it can help let a little air out of the balloon of our full life and, like a sigh, allow us to enjoy ourselves, and the partners we love.
In fact, the longer we are with our partners, the more comfortable we may feel, and the more we may be ok with asking for some sexual attention when we need it.
Of course, we see many women who are not part of the 50% that have sex once a week, and who do not initiate sex, either because they don’t feel the desire, or because it hurts to have sex. Well, that’s our work. Data like this is an inspiration, even if it’s not a surprise.
The survey was sponsored by Teva Women’s Health, the manufacturer of the ParaGard Intrauterine Copper Contraceptive.
So, your 10-year old finds your vibrator….
Thursday, October 1st, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDIs your child finding your vibrator your worst fear?
Here’s a story a patient just relayed to me: Her 10-year old son, now 24, was digging through her night table and pulled out her vibrator. It was penis shaped. She saw him shaking and rattling it. In horror, but trying to remain calm, she said:” Ummm… What are you doing?” He said: “This is so cool. I’m trying to get it to work.” A bit taken aback she said: “What exactly do you think that is?” He looked at her as if she were a bit doddy and said: “Mom! It’s a weenie flashlight!”
Once again, it just goes to show that kids absorb just as much information as they are ready for and not much more!
In the meantime, her 24 year old son is getting married and she is considering giving his new wife, her very own “weenie flashlight.”
