Hi there… if you are (like me) a fan of the “Onion” and are not put off by its irreverent humor, I highly suggest this video –
Children Exposed to Pornography May Expect Sex to Be Enjoyable –
If you are offended by this type of tongue in cheek humor… better pass on this post.
But remember… kids pick up on our attitudes about sex every day!!
Hello all -
I cannot for the life of me figure out why I got a google alert today about an article that seems ready for the post-Christmas blues…but I did. And it’s really a good one.
The article was published in Redbook and is called 12 Resolutions for a Great Sex Life (see the holiday theme in there?) and in addition to the usual suspects there were some interesting additions: touch your husband every day [hmmm, that would soften my 'gotta get this done and move on to the next project' demeanor], have sex (sometimes) when you’re not in the mood [ yes, I recall that working wonders from time to time] and – a personal favorite of the Medical Center for Female Sexuality: use grown up toys. In Redbook!
Go read it where the publishers have authorized permission: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/07/16/hearstmagrelationships277718.DTL
Happy Holidays 
Ilene
Overweight women should know that your oral contraceptive may take longer to become effective. A new study recently published in the Journal of Contraception found that oral contraceptives for woman who are overweight can take twice as long to become effective. Most drug tests are not tested on people who are obese and so body size is often ignored. The study which was conducted by scientists from Colorado, Oregon and Southern California found that it took approximately 10 days for oral contraceptives to be effective in obese women versus 5 days for women with a Body Mass Index less than 35. This is something to be aware of and talk to your physician about….
Today, more and more adults, both here in the US and in Europe, are choosing to cohabitate, or live together. This may serve as a precursor to marriage, or another alternative to getting married. Though, attitudes towards this practice are becoming increasingly more accepting, some religious groups still advocate against it. It is very common for people who do not agree with this practice to focus on the “negative” statistic suggesting that most people who cohabitate eventually break up. Though this statistic is stressed often, I don’t know if it is should be viewed as bad. Maybe it was a good thing that these people ended things. Maybe they are actually better off without each other. Maybe these relationships were doomed for divorce from the beginning. Maybe that living situation really showed you what that person was like, and maybe that person is very different than the person you use to date.
Living together is a lifestyle choice. Just like many are free to choose who they want to be with and have sex with, some are even choosing how to define that love. Whether you have a ring on your finger or your cars are parked in the same garage, or whether you’re of the same sex, or different races, everyone is entitled to define what love means to them and how they express it. Just because someone is not married, does not mean they are not committed or not in love with their partner. Many times people feel trapped because they think there is only one way of doing it, one ring followed by another, marriage. There are many other options out there to explore. Explore what works for you best and don’t be worried about jumping through all the hoops.
I haven’t posted in awhile however the good news is that we launched our radio show. The Sex & Intimacy show is edgy, fun and informative. No question is off limits and no topic is taboo. Listeners from around the world can tune in and or call in with questions every Thursday at Midnight EST. For those of you who have been loyal listeners on our web cast, yes, we were too sexy for prime time on the radio and got moved to late night! For details about the show and how to listen please visit our web site at www.sexandintimacyshow.com.
Hello Readers – I’m a new member of the team at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality. In my role as marketing and business development guru, I come across interesting blogs, articles and studies about sex.
As administrator of this blog, I thought it would be nice if I made a contribution to our readers! So here’s my first one: a blog on dating and some entries about decoding body language:
http://dating.over-blog.net/article-33739585.html
It made me think about how the kids are away at sleepaway camp for a few more days… and my husband and I might go on a “date “… and that body language might influence the kind of weekend in store for us…
Happy reading,
Ilene
Intercourse should not hurt. I am surprised at how many patients I see who have been suffering for years with painful intercourse of some kind. There are many reasons why someone might be suffering from painful intercourse. For example, lack of lubrication, vaginal muscle tension, endometriosis, vaginal infections, and structural abnormalities are all possible reasons for painful intercourse. Whether you experience pain with penetration, throughout the vagina or deep in your pelvis, it should be taken seriously and addressed by a medical professional.
Some health professionals may suggest that these problems are psychological and require longer term psychological counseling to fix the problem. This may be true in some cases, but while those issues are being unraveled in therapy, a woman can actually treat her symptoms and , in many cases, see tangible and rewarding results in a matter of months.
The women we see at The Medical Center for Female Sexuality tell us heartbreaking stories about how painful intercourse effects their romantic relationships, and how the inability to have rewarding sex with someone they care about feeds insecurity and loss of self-esteem. Perhaps these feelings send women for psychological counseling. Working on what’s going on emotionally while exploring what’s happening to the body is a good recipe for success.
In fact, in my line of work I have evidence that one might want to start with the physical and add the psychological to enhance understanding and accelerate results! Either way, painful sex needs to be purged from the sex life of every woman, in any way possible. (And there are numerous possible ways!)
As a positive sexual advocate, I believe it is important for couples to continue having non-intercourse forms of sex. Many times couples still include non intercourse forms of sex such as massage, using hands on each others genitals and oral sex, but only as a precursor to intercourse, or as “foreplay”. Many people in the sexuality field hate this term because it makes it sound as if intercourse is the big shebang and everything else isn’t real sex. With many of the women I come in contact with, when asked what they enjoy most, I am not surprised at the number of women who state they enjoy the non-intercourse forms more so than intercourse. And in most cases they do not own up to this comment, not even to their partners.
So to change your sex up and add some spice, try having oral sex not as foreplay but as the main event. It can be a pleasure at times to just focus on yourself and your own pleasure without worrying about how the other person is feeling. Keep in mind if you are doing it with a loving partner, they want you to experience pleasure without it being viewed that one person is selfish. And remember the next time it is your turn!
Some women have asked me why they “freak out” after they have an orgasm. It’s a great question and here’s at least part of the answer…
Just prior to, and at the time of orgasm a cocktail of hormones are “released.” Every person’s is slightly different. As a matter of fact every orgasm can be different! That’s why sometimes you probably have littler (less emotional) orgasms and sometimes you have “blockbusters.” Different women respond differently to the intense orgasms. Some women feel happy, excited, exhausted, emotionally close to their partner, like they are going to pass out, like there are fireworks in their head. Some people respond with emotions that feel wonderful, or out of control or both. Many women say that their “emotions come to the surface,” in a way they usually don’t.
If every single time you orgasm you begin to cry or feel really sad, you may want to discuss it with a therapist to see if there is some underlying concern that only comes to the surface when you are having an orgasm. Sometimes the fragile state you’re in after an orgasm can allow you to experience emotions you don’t otherwise allow yourself to.
However you respond, it’s fine! Try to learn to enjoy your own individual response and “go with the emotional flow.” And above all… enjoy those orgasms!
