I am always surprised at the people who do not use lube because they designate it for a particular person…usually an older woman or some one who cannot get easily aroused. Many times I will hear, “I don’t need that”. Lube can be for everyone! Lube can make it easier for a number of things. For example, if you decide to have manual sex (using hands on each other). It provides another titillated sensation for your senses…silky, slippery and wet and helps fingers and hands glide along. Try using some flavored lube like O’my for oral sex. It is water based but without sugar so it is beneficial to vaginal health. Also, lubes are a great choice when you are using condoms, which can often dry out. Just be sure to stick with water based lubes when using condoms. Today, there are many varieties for choosing lubes, and KY has many different options, for his and her pleasure. If you are embarrassed about someone seeing you in a store, just order online 
Archive for May, 2009
why does lube get such a bad rap?
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, DHSHey, the catholic church thinks sex is okay too!
Friday, May 22nd, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDIt is so nice to see the Catholic church taking a stand that sex within marriage is a good thing. So many of the women who come to see who are religious often feel ambivalent about being sexy, acting sex, having sex. So read this article about the polish priest sexpert…
But its not real sex…
Thursday, May 21st, 2009 by Shannon Bertha, ACS, DHSThere are so many fun things to do with your partner that can bring you closer together, that doesnt always end in intercourse. These “fun things” are usually referred to as foreplay, a word most of us in the sexuality field hate! Because it insinuates that those “fun things” only have BEFORE the real event, Intercourse. There is a great scene in Kinsey, where Dr. Kinsey meets with two college students who are married and experiencing sexual difficulty. The woman is experiencing some difficulty getting aroused and even says, “I’m dead down there.” When Kinsey asks the husband if they stimulate each others genitals with hands or provide genital kissing, also known as oral sex, the husband responds, “Why bother, now that we can do the real thing.”
Do you remember the time in your life where you could just make out for hours at a time, or have oral sex in the car with the slight fear of getting caught? And didn’t that make it so much more fun!? Try to include oral sex and hand stimulation as THE EVENT, not just the precursor to sex, but sex itself. Even though you can do the “real thing” don’t forget to incorporate what got you there in the first place.
to use hormones or not to use hormones…
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDI get asked this all the time by perimenopausal and post menopausal women. And my answer always is… “It depends.” Once upon a time women used to have to suffer with hot flushes, memory loss, loss of libido and sleep disturbances. Then along came the hormone therapy like a white knight on a horse and made everyone better. Or so we thought. And the doctors were giving out hormone therapy like M&M’s. The some rumors started that the white knight was actually an axe murder and everyone went running the opposite direction screaming… and the results? Many, many miserable women who couldn’t sleep, didn’t want sex, argued all the time with everyone, soaked their clothes at inopportune moments and were overall not happy campers.
So what’s the real answer? Like everything else: moderation! If you need hormone therapy, use it. It will make your life better. But use as little as you need and don’t assume you will need it forever. After a few years your body may adjust and you may do fine without it. But please don’t suffer!
The white knight turned out not to be a knight or an axe murderer. He’s just the guy next door who, like most of us, have their good points and bad points!!
All About Fantasies
Monday, May 11th, 2009 by Ilene Rosenthal, MarketingThe Medical Center for Female Sexuality has posted its April newsletter on the Web. April is all about fantasies. Check it out here…
On pain…
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 by Bat Sheva Marcus LMSW MPH PhDIf one more patient comes in and tells me she has spent a year with a therapist talking about the pain in her vagina and low and behold she still has the pain… I will get up and scream. Really. I promise. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the ridiculous notion that “it is all in your head,” except it isn’t. I have a secret for you… generally a horse is a horse, not a zebra and generally pain is pain… NOT “your vagina telling you you don’t want to have sex.” Let’s try another one… maybe it’s your vagina telling you THAT IT HURT G-D DAMN IT!! Whew… I feel so much better.
And here’s another secret: often pain isn’t so very hard to treat, if you know what your doing — a little stretching, a little biofeedback, a little estrogen cream, a better lubricant, sometimes a medication and voila — MOST pain can be treated successfully.
So listen to me. If you have pain, don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t or it’s not real just because they can’t “see it.” The fact that they can’t see it is their problem, not yours. So get help. Real help. And make that pain go away.
