Guilt is feeling bad for what we did, i.e., “I had unprotected sex.” Shame is feeling bad for who we are, i.e., “I’m a slut.” Shame is that inner voice that says, “I’m not good enough.” For many people shame becomes the core belief of who we are and eats away at the deepest part …
Continue ReadingIs there a problem with your sex life?
Too often we know there’s a problem with our sex life, but we are too scared to say something. I know it’s hard. You’re not comfortable talking about sex to start with. And your partner may be even more uncomfortable! Worse yet, it’s scary because you’re not sure where the conversation is going to go. …
Continue ReadingUsing a vibrator — when you’re having sex with your partner!
Often I have patients who have trouble having orgasms. Sometimes they are women who are going through menopause or are getting older and they’re just having a harder time “getting there.” Sometimes they are women who always just had a harder time reaching orgasm. Either way, a vibrator makes their life wayyyyy easier and often …
Continue ReadingLove your body.
Okay women…listen up. You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again but see if you can let it sink in. You need to love your body (or at least most of it) if you want to have good sex. You have to let go of worrying about how you look and focus in on …
Continue ReadingWith Valentine’s Day approaching…
After many years with a partner, Valentine’s Day might not have the same thrill it did when you celebrated your first Valentine’s Day together. Romantic dinners are replaced with long waits at restaurants, piled in with lovers celebrating their love together, enough to disgust the singles out there. Romantic overtones of flowers and chocolates have …
Continue ReadingThe big O…
We get many of our notions about how sex “should” be from the media. Remember the movie “When Harry Met Sally?” Actress, Meg Ryan, simulated an earth shattering orgasm if there ever was one. In sports we are goal oriented. In school we want our kids to get “A’s”. But sex isn’t a contest and …
Continue ReadingShould I ask?
The other day I was asked, “Is it OK to ask what someone wants/likes when it comes to sex?” I think we have this preconception that if we are to be good lovers, we must magically know what our partners want during sex. In order to have good sex (all forms of sex included) you …
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