All Pro NFL tough guy, Brian Urlacher is being accused of dressing his three year old son in Cinderella diapers and painting the boy’s toe nails blue, the team color of the linebacker’s Chicago Bears. The accuser is the boy’s mother, Tyna Robertson with whom Urlacher is in a child custody battle. Robertson is complaining that the boy is experiencing gender confusion. Couples often ask me if divorce effects the children involved. The answer is that of course divorce effects the kids however in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing for many kids. When kids are negatively affected it is not the divorce itself that causes the problem for most children, it is bad co-parenting. Kids just want to be loved. Kids don’t want to be caught in the middle. Kids do not want to hear mom and dad talk badly about each other, let alone see them treat each other poorly. So in this case, who is right, mom or dad? The answer is they are both wrong. Look Brian, I’m a big fan of yours’ and here’s the deal. You need to take one for the team and find a way to raise your son in a loving way with his mother. Long after you hang up your cleats your son will admire and love you for the way you co-parented more than he ever will for the way you tackle. www.doctorcannon.com
Good afternoon,
Google alerts is a wonderful thing. With its assistance, I caught your blog and your mention that, “Kids don’t want to be caught in the middle. Kids do not want to hear mom and dad talk badly about each other, let alone see them treat each other poorly.” Bravo!
I’d like to recommend my new book, “Keeping Kids Out Of the Middle” (KKOOM; HCI Books 2008) to interest readers and caregivers caught in co-parenting conflict. KKOOM is about minimizing the destructive impact of co-parent conflict on kids, regardless of the adults’ gender, generation, geography and marital status.
I’d be glad to respond to dialogue here relevant to kids’ well-being when parents conflict. Don’t hesitate to reach me at papaben@healthyparent.com.
Best holiday wishes to all!