A patient was commenting how much better she was feeling… more desirous, more desiring, more easily turned on. “But I just don’t feel like I used to when I was a teenager” she bemoaned. When pressed she couldn’t seem to come up with a better description of what was missing. A bit later, during our appointment we were recommending that maybe every morning she spend a minute or two reading erotica to get herself turned on and her thoughts turned to sex. “Oh no.” She said… “I don’t let myself get turned on unless I can ‘do something with it.” I suggested that maybe walking around turned on without “doing something with it” could be fun and sexy and get you more in the mood. Suddenly a light bulb went off in her head. “Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing!! I used to walk around turned on all the time…” hmm… maybe we’ve all gotten a bit too goal oriented and lost some of the fun of the “process” in the process!