During the Democratic National Convention this week we did an episode for my web cast on the difference between the sex lives of democrats and republicans.  I thought you might enjoy the promotional clip that is airing on You Tube.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdw3rUcY7wM&eurl=http://7.gmodules.com/ig/ifr?url=http://www.google.com/ig/modules/youtube_videos.xml&nocache=0&up_prefs_version=

Over the past few weeks I have been helping a couple learn to better communicate about sex.  The husband has a fetish and it has been difficult for him to find sufficient courage to use the words to ask for what he wants sexually.  We worked on radical honesty and I am pleased to report that they have had wonderful breakthroughs.  Imagine my chagrin however last week when I read an article on the front page of the New York Times that referred to an Olympic soccer player who was accidentally kicked in the “private parts.”  Nuts!  The term “private parts” breeds shame and guilt, something that we certainly don’t need more of!  Whether you are talking to your kids or your lover, I encourage people to use language that is sex positive and fun.  After all, pleasure is a good thing….

Matters relating to sexual desire are the number one presenting concern brought to the office of many sex therapists.  I find that nearly as many women complain about not having enough sex, as do their male counterparts.  In my sex therapy practice it is about 60/40 with the man being slightly more desirous.  That said, it is often not about gender at all because we regularly see desire gaps in gay and lesbian relationships.  This of course is the one time when we can say with certainty that it is always the man or always the woman!  Gaps in desire can be related to a number of factors.  Frequently the culprit tends to be rooted in physiology, pharmacology or psychology, and those are all great areas to explore.  More often then not however the best pillow to look under is at the relationship itself.  Good communication is a great place for couples to start working to close the gap.

As a sex therapist in Colorado, the “sex change capital of the world,” I have the opportunity to work with a multitude of people who are in the process of transitioning from their biologically born gender to the gender they identify as.  Although causation related to transgenderism remains a mystery, most transsexuals feel they have been trapped in the wrong body for as long as they can remember.  I am so glad to see this dialog on the bettersexblog this week in particular because last week here in Colorado Angie Zapata was violently murdered in what is being reported as a hate crime.  Angie was an 18 year old male to female transsexual.  I believe the more that people understand about topics that scare them, the easier our culture can embrace sexual diversity.