Relational or psychological issues can cause or at least contribute to low sexual desire. In my practice, I’ve seen people who have been ambivalent about their relationships from day one, yet are baffled as to why they don’t want to jump into bed with their partners. I have met people who feel that they are being criticized relentlessly, or feel like they are being guilted into doing sexual things that make them uncomfortable, and then they wonder why their sexual desire has seemingly disappeared. But sometimes their spouses or partners don’t even realize it, and may actually be open to making changes or seeing things differently if only these feelings were shared. For others, there may be difficult history that they have not yet sorted through, or messages about sex after marriage or sex after becoming a parent that they don’t even realize influence their sex lives. Exploring the relational/psychological issues that may be causing or contributing to low sexual desire is not a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship. It only means that you recognize that love and sex and relationships can be complicated and that talking about it can help.
Tags: libido, low libido, low sexual desire
my husband has no desire at all. Once every 6 months is ok with him or even less. we have no kids together and all are gone and grown im 47 and he is 41. I keep telling him that its a testostorone level and he just refuses to believe that there is anything wrong. he will not go to the doctor. i’m at wits end. I have tried to be suductive in front of the tv and he just says get out of the way i’m watching this or whatever. I have to make all the moves and pretty much made a threat that if he didn’t hit the bed in a matter of a couple of minutes I would shoot a hole in the big screen with a shot gun. (that made him move.) sad. I need some documentation that I can show him that this is a real thing and that it is a possiblity.
I understand how your husband feels. I am a 46 year old male and my sexual desire is dormant. Not even porn helps lift my libido and my girlfriend is frustrated at my lack of sexuality.
I have no children but I am very involved with my career. I do not smoke or drink and I exercise yet I don’t feel the need for sex its kind of a waste of time like I could be doing something more constructive. There are other men around my age who feel the same as I do about sex. When I meet other women I don’t feel the urge to sleep with them just keep it platonic.
Sometimes I would not mind if my girlfriend had sex with other men just to keep her happy.