MYTH: Wine Helps Painful Intercourse

June 18th, 2013 by Tara Ford, RPA-C

I am always surprised at how many patients I see who tell me that their gynecologist recommends they have a glass of wine before intercourse. They say it’s to help them relax and that it would help with the pain they experience during intercourse.  Not only does this not work, but the patient is left with no treatment plan and winds up waiting until her next follow up Pap smear to discuss this issue, which can be up to 3 years!!

The women we see usually have been experiencing vaginal pain for years before finding help.  There are many reasons why a woman may experience painful intercourse:  vaginismus, vulvodynia, vaginal dryness (secondary to menopause, birth control pills, medications), endometriosis and even anatomical abnormalities.

Painful intercourse should be taken seriously.  Here at the Center we address both the physical and psychological aspects of painful intercourse.  Oftentimes painful intercourse affects a woman’s self-esteem and can cause relationship problems.

Clearly, a glass of wine will not solve these problems! If you are experiencing painful intercourse and can’t get to the Medical Center for Female Sexuality, I recommend you print out the information you find on our website and bring this information to your gynecologist.  There are many treatments available for painful intercourse- no woman needs to suffer.  Click here to read our patient testimonials

Save that glass of wine to celebrate the day you have pain-free intercourse!

 

 

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Posted in Health, Pain, sex life, sexual health, Vaginismus, Vulvodynia |

Give Yourself A Break- Try Botox

June 13th, 2013 by Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW MPH PhD

We have many women who come here for the treatment of vaginismus. They can’t achieve vaginal penetration and are often experiencing devastating effects on their self-esteem as well as on their relationships. Vaginismus is usually some combination of tight muscles and fear (or even panic) resulting from the pain the women have experienced when they’ve tried to have intercourse. It can be really scary, overwhelming, and make a woman feel awful about herself.

For many women using vaginal dilators and/or physical therapy works wonders. With the right amount of support, expertise, and encouragement they do wonderfully. But there are always some women for whom the pain, or the fear of the pain, is just too much.  So they avoid getting help. I remember one patient we treated a  few years ago who was trying to put in a dilator. She sat up on the exam table and with tears welling up in her eyes she said, “There has to be another way…there just HAS to be!”

Well, if that’s you, please don’t avoid us!  There IS another way!

It’s specifically for these cases that we’ve started to use intravaginal Botox injections. It takes so much of the fear and the anxiety out of the process. And it jump starts the dilation process.  It means that under sedation, Botox is injected into the vaginal muscles and a dilator is inserted into the vagina. When the patient “wakes up”, voila, she has a dilator inside of her.  She feels no pain and finally has a sense that YES, she can do it! It helps so many women over those very first hurdles.

So, if you have been putting off dealing with vaginismus, give yourself a break.  Call us to discuss the Botox option. I know you’d like to believe this will all go away by itself, but the problem is not going to go away on its own, so come see us.

Let us help you.

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Posted in Education, Health, sex life, sexual health, Vaginismus |

Have the Sex Life You Desire

June 11th, 2013 by Barbara Gross, LMSW

Daniel Bergner, is a contributor for the New York Times Magazine and author of several books including, The Other Side of Desire, which  I loved.  He just wrote a new book which was released last week,  What do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. An excerpt from the book just appeared in the New York Times Magazine and we have already gotten quite a few comments from our patients based on this article.

The article explains how there are several drugs in clinical trial aimed at increasing female sexual desire. The drugs mentioned are: Lybrido, Lybridos, Flibanserin and Libigel. These are all medications that I have read about and researched over the last few years.  There is currently no pill available to treat low desire in women.  I  look forward to the day when a safe treatment to improve women’s desire is approved by the FDA.  I love the idea that women’s sexual health is now becoming a priority. However, women (and men) are complex sexual beings and in order to address female sexual desire, I think all aspects of one’s life and body must be considered when trying to come up with a treatment that works.

Bergner explores the possible causes of low desire. He lists: menopause, anti-depressants and monogamy (due to boredom and increased comfort over time). What he does not particularly address is how quickly and easily couples can become disconnected and often this can make ones sex drive drop. When an individual becomes stressed, fatigued, or angry, testosterone drops. All these factors may contribute to low desire in women.  The fact that Bergner has brought this topic in to the main stream is a great thing and I am hopeful that more can be done to help women have the sex lives they desire.

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Posted in Books, Health, sex life, sexual health, Uncategorized |

The Rise of Arousal

June 7th, 2013 by Rachel Hercman, LCSW

And the media buzz term of the week is…….female arousal.

With the news about clinical trials in the advancement of Lybrido, a new drug being tested that purports to increase sexual arousal in women, the discussion around women’s sexuality has shifted from a whisper to a shout.

The idea that a female arousal drug may become available for public consumption has triggered a discussion that extends far beyond just biological pathways. It has opened the door for conversations about a woman’s right to have sexual satisfaction in her life and ramifications of sexual dysfunction on her self-esteem.

When a man has trouble with erections, it can affect not only his bedroom life but his whole confidence in relationships. When a woman has trouble with arousal, she may feel like her whole femininity is taking a hit- not to mention the fear of losing her partner because she is sexually unavailable.  The pain for a woman who can’t perform sexually is just as difficult as it is for a man, but cultural constructs provide little space for women to affirm that.

Contrary to popular belief that men need sex and women need romance, many women need sex too- just as many men need romance. Let’s not let gender roles preclude us from recognizing the human need to bond.

 

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Posted in Education, Health, sex life, sexual health |

A Pill for Low Libido?

June 5th, 2013 by Tara Ford, RPA-C

There was a recent article in The New York Times Magazine that has generated some buzz in the field of human sexuality.  The article was written by Daniel Bergner, a contributing writer for the NY Times magazine and is an adaptation from his new book, What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. 

The article (hence his book) delves into the latest scientific research on the reasons behind the universally accepted notion that the loss of female libido is inevitable.  Mr. Bergner debunks this popular myth (among others):  the loss of female libido is not inevitable.

We agree with Mr. Bergner!

This article also briefly discusses some of the medications (Lybrido, Lybridos, Flibanserin)currently in clinical trials vying for FDA approval.  As of today, there are no FDA approved medications for the treatment of low libido in women or in medical terms HSDD (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder).  These medications are being dubbed as the “female Viagra”- a medication a woman can take before sex to get her in the mood.

Here at the center, we do know there is a strong link between testosterone and sexual desire.  Many people know this to be true of men but some are surprised this also holds true for women.  When a female patient comes to us complaining of low desire, we analyze her hormones and often times we do see they have low testosterone levels.  We have found that by supplementing their testosterone levels with FDA approved testosterone gel (for men) as well as by providing sexuality counseling we are extremely successful with improving a woman’s libido.  However, this type of treatment can take several months to be effective.

Take a look at this interesting article and let us know your thoughts!  Would you be interested in taking a pill to “jump start” your libido?

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/26/magazine/unexcited-there-may-be-a-pill-for-that.html?pagewanted=1&hp&_r=0

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Posted in Education, Health, sex life, sexual health |

Daniel Bergner: He’s Done It Again!

May 30th, 2013 by Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW MPH PhD

One of my very favorite authors on sex, Daniel Bergner, has come out with a new book What Do Women Want?  Adventures in the Science of Female Desire.   What differentiates Bergner’s books from the other seemingly endless stream of “new” books about sex is… believe it or not… that he has something new to say!

You have no doubt heard it all. Women need love in order to connect. Women need to feel comfortable and safe in order to connect. Women need time to relax. Women need sexy underwear and massage oil.  Partners should have date nights. Men are from Mars, women are from the nunnery. Blah… blah… blah…

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it. I’m tired of reading another book on sex which takes all the very same ideas and rehashes them with new case studies or new scented candles!

Daniel Bergner’s book is smart, scientific and surprising. Basically, his thesis is that women have been pigeon-holed into a sexual role which bears limited resemblance to reality (bear with me here because I’m trying to put 200 pages of an extremely interesting book into 3 sentences!).   Bergner claims women are no more suited for monogamy than men. In fact, sexual boredom and routine might play out worse for women than their male partners. Women are turned on by a wide variety of stimulus, their bodies respond to any number of sexual options even if they may not be aware of it and women would function better if they weren’t so busy trying to stifle their libidos in an attempt to fit communal roles and norms. And maybe we, as a community, need to think more outside the box if we want women to want sex. Go Bergner!!

I am honestly wondering if someone that doesn’t work in the field of female sexuality would find the book as fascinating as I do. And I don’t know. Time will tell. The author weaves in personal stories in his usual warm and sympathetic way and tries as best as he can to give real faces to the women who are characterized, but in the end this is a theoretical book, not such a practical one. So the book might help you understand yourself (or your partner) in a new and interesting way. But it’s not going to give you too many answers.

There’s much to discuss about this book and future blog entries will focus on specifics, but if you are someone interested in trying to understand the female libido, this is a MUST-READ!

 

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Posted in Books, Education, sex life |

I Feel Like A Woman

May 28th, 2013 by Rachel Hercman, LCSW

“I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

These were the words of Angelina Jolie, as she recently openly discussed her choice to have a double-mastectomy to reduce her chance of getting breast cancer.

Media outlets have been focusing a lot of attention on this news and the public reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. Seeing a Hollywood star speaking candidly about her mortality is refreshing, and shows that fame and fortune cannot alter the laws of nature.  Angelina Jolie, with her world-famous status as a sex symbol, is just like the next woman who worries about her health and hopes to see her children grow up.  In that sense, she’s just like you, your best friend, or the person behind you at a red light. Her message unites humanity.

But it is her message of empowerment that I believe is so inspiring to women. Her message is that despite losing her breasts, she is no less of a woman, because her femininity does not rely on her physical attributes.  It’s a state of mind, a spirit, an acceptance.

Many women encounter this struggle in their sex lives, and may feel ‘less of a woman’ because of imperfections in their bodies. We often meet women who report feeling less feminine because they are older, or because they can’t have an orgasm, or because they have painful intercourse. No doubt that in today’s world, there are many societal forces that make it difficult to maintain a femininity that is independent of one’s physical form.

But Ms. Jolie’s actions -and her brave choice to speak out about it- is a testament to the potential to transcend the superficial measurements of femininity.  That being a woman is not exclusively about physicality, that a woman doesn’t need to feel shame about her body, and that every woman- regardless of age, fame, race- has her own feminine struggles to fight.

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Posted in Health, sex life, sexual health |

Box Docs!

May 23rd, 2013 by Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW MPH PhD

I have been called many things during my career: The Vagina Whisperer, Dr. Ruth, Sex Guru, even a Sex Rabbi!  Yesterday, I heard a new one.  A patient told us, “I couldn’t wait to see you…I’ve been telling all of my girlfriends that I’m going to see my “box docs!”

Yup, that’s right: BOX DOCS!

We loved it!

I love it when patients feel comfortable enough with us that they can laugh about something that gave them so much pain and anxiety not that long ago. I love it when patients feel empowered by their treatment and in turn coin their own expressions. I love that they think of us as people who are rooting for them and for whom nicknames are appropriate. I love that they can turn something scary into something fun!

I know coming in for an initial consultation can seem really scary. I know you may be wondering how you could possibly talk to total strangers about your sex life.  The truth is our patients will tell you that the scariness disappears 10 seconds after walking through our door.  I like the old adage, “You have nothing to fear but fear itself.” The IDEA of coming here is so much scarier than the reality. Once you begin talking to us you will feel comfortable and it will feel natural.

So take it from the Box Docs: We are here to help you, not to judge you and we will support you through your journey!

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Posted in Health, sex life, sexual health |

What You Should Know About Ovarian Cancer

May 21st, 2013 by Tara Ford, RPA-C

Angelina Jolie’s disclosure about having her breasts and ovaries removed to prevent cancer has stimulated a lot of discussion on ovarian cancer.  Most women know the importance of routine screening for breast cancer with mammograms/thermography as well as self-examinations but what about ovarian cancer?  What kind of screening is available for ovarian cancer and when should it be done?  What are the signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer?  How prevalent is it?

The American Cancer Society (ACS) projects that “approximately 22,000 women will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer and an estimated 14,000 will die from the disease this year.  Ovarian cancer is the ninth most common cancer among women and fifth in cancer deaths.”

Despite these numbers the US Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) does not recommend universal screening for ovarian cancer on asymptomatic women with low risk for the disease.  By now you’re wondering, “WHY NOT?!”  Let me try to explain:  there is no evidence of a reduction in deaths associated with ovarian cancer screenings, in fact there may be increased harm related to evaluation and treatment based on false-positive findings from the screening methods.

The two screening methods for ovarian cancer include a transvaginal ultrasound (TVUS) and the CA-125 blood test.  TVUS is used to detect masses but cannot tell if the mass is benign or malignant.  This may lead to unnecessary surgeries.  CA-125 is a protein in the blood that may increase with the presence of ovarian cancer.  However, the test is nonspecific and may not be elevated in the presence of ovarian cancer or it may be elevated in the presence of other common conditions.  Therefore screening for ovarian cancer using TVUS and CA-125 in asymptomatic and low risk women may lead to unnecessary and invasive procedures that can cause more harm than good.

However, if you have the following risk factors and are experiencing the symptoms below you should discuss screening for ovarian cancer with your gynecologist.

Risk factors for ovarian cancer:

-          BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation

-          Lynch syndrome (hereditary nonpolyposis colon cancer)

-          Family history of ovarian cancer

Symptoms suggestive of ovarian cancer:

-          Bloating

-          Pelvic or abdominal pain

-          Difficulty eating or feeling full soon after eating

-          Urinary symptoms:  urgency or frequency

You can read more about ovarian cancer here:  http://www.cancer.org/cancer/ovariancancer/index

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Posted in Education, Health, sex life, sexual health |

Condom Contest- $100,000 to the Winner!

May 16th, 2013 by Barbara Gross, LMSW

The Bill and Linda Gates Foundation is offering a $100,000 prize to anyone that can come up with a condom that will not diminish pleasure.  The catalyst for this contest was the Foundation’s struggle to stop the spread of AIDS in Africa.

The Gates Foundation research shows that, Africans, like most Americans, don’t wear condoms primarily because they decrease pleasure. Of course many feel that to be true, but from my point of view safety comes first. The Gates Foundation web site states that such innovation would “lead to substantial benefits for global health both in terms of reducing the incidence of unplanned pregnancies and in prevention of infection with HIV.” This of course makes a lot of sense to me.

“Sixty percent of teenagers use condoms and fifty percent of gay men use condoms” (Atlantic, April 2013) and “the proportion of women using contraceptives who relied on condoms decreased from 20% to 16% between 1995 -2008” (Guttmacher study on contraceptive use, 2008). Another surprising statistic from the CDC is that women only use condoms consistently 21 percent of the time. Men were quoted to be using them 24.8 percent of the time.”

I do hope the Gates Foundation is successful in finding a condom that feels better for everyone but in the meantime I hope women and men can embrace the joy of sex responsibly, because the healthier you are the more of it you can have!

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Posted in Education, Health, sex life, sexual health |

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